Should I skip sleep?

Nah.. that would be physically impossible. I'm one of those people who can sleep 12 hours a night and STILL take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. Yes.. I'm taking a multi-vitamin and yes, my iron levels are fine (note for my mother who is making a list of things to text me about).

I have lots to blog.. so much. I want to write about Benji's surgery last Thursday. I want to write about how awesome his daycare provider and her family were for stopping by on Saturday to surprise Benji. I want to write about how awesome Ben is doing post-op. I want to write about how I'm concerned that I'm starting to understand Fleetwood Mac songs. I want to write about how we found out that Ben is learning to play chess with Ruth at school. I want to write about how I worked extra hours and appeared at a town hearing this past week AND worked half a day on Saturday and how the song "Don't you forget about me" from the movie, The Breakfast Club, plays in my mind every time I was out of my office building and I have an image of me thrusting my fist up in the air like Judd Nelson's character in the final scene of that movie. I want to write how worried I am about my nephews in Texas. I want to write about how worried I am about my wife because of how worried she is about her nephews in Texas. I want to write about how I'm worried about how much of a tax return we'll get back given that I went and quit my wonderful and inspiring job (I'd NEVER be sarcastic on my blog). I want to write about how I'm tired of not being able to write because my son wants full access to any computer that is turned on in the house to play on sproutonline.com and nickjr.com. I want to write about how I want to go to Kentucky to visit my mom and the $600 that it would take to get both Benji and me down there is just a little out of my reach right now (refer back to worries about tax returns).

Mostly I just want to write about Benji and brag about how cool he is. I also want to state, for the record, that I think my sister, Beck, should have come up here this past weekend.

I could write about how Shiela just poked her head into the bedroom to see what I was doing (I'm writing and playing MouseHunt on Facebook -- a raging addiction) and watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics and seriously considering a move to British Columbia. Anyway.. I got teared up writing about my mom and Shiela walks in and almost falls over laughing because I'm a scene out of "Something's Gotta Give" while sitting at my laptop with tears dripping down my cheeks and pooling behind my glasses.

I'm also disappointed that the USA lost the hockey game today.. but slightly proud of our future home country assuming we move to British Columbia. Hell.. Ryan Renold and Michael J Fox came from there..

I could also write about my failed attempt to make a cute pendant for Shiela for her birthday with Benji's fingerprint on it. It would have worked fine if the little shit didn't keep grabbing the clay and throwing it across the kitchen and then squishing any decent imprint impression I managed to get.

So that's it for me at 10:15pm on a Sunday night. Ben is asleep.. both cats are curled at my feet.. and I'm going to bed. Hopefully this coming week will be more restful and productive than this past week. If nothing else.. I've officially started the countdown to my last day of work (March 31).

OH... I figured out what I was going to do when Ben goes to Kindergarten. He'll be going to school in about 3 years. The next winter olympics is in 4 years. That'll give me about a good year to train for the women's short track. It'll probably take that long to find those cool skates and one of those snazzy outfits in a women's size 18. I think the sponsorships from that gold metal win would easily supplement our family for a few years ... maybe Jenny Craig and Lane Bryant would make me their spokesperson? I think inertia alone would get me around that track.. and I could definitely take out some of those little young tykes in the sport.


I take it all back.. where's the life raft?

Ok.. so change is good. Shiela tells me this.. my therapist (Ken) tells me this.. heck.. he even gave me a handout about it at my session yesterday.. maybe I'll share it later.. it's in the car. It's a hoot.

I would MUCH rather change one item at a time.. with a good space of a year or seven between each change. I'm up to my eyeballs at work trying to "transition" ten years of work to other consultants so they can handle my projects after I leave. Great! This is a fascinating and exciting thing. I also want to kick everyone out of MY office and tell them to get their damned hands off MY work. Hmmmm.. I may have to talk about that with Ken next week.

A bigger concern for me today is that Benji is going under the knife tomorrow. Ok.. I shouldn't have put it that way.. I just had to stand up and walk around my 8'x12' cubicle twice to keep from hyperventilating. Most of my coworkers don't know that I keep a paperbag in my desk for just this type of situation (ok.. I'm kidding.. I keep chocolate in my desk for this type of situation).

I'm nervous about Benji having his tubes put in and his adenoids taken out. We don't think they'll take his tonsils unless she sees some compelling reason to do so once she's in there.. but she's already said that she'd rather not unless he's having issues with sleep apnea, which he isn't. His issue is that his ears hurt and his adenoids are huge.. so we take care of that. I may buy him an iTouch or something.. I must buy him something to make him feel better. We've got ice cream and jello stocked up.. now he just needs expensive toys that he can play with while sitting snuggled on our laps for the next few days.

Ok.. so I'm going to be the one eating the ice cream and needing to snuggle on someone's lap for the next few days. I have the same reaction to the idea of Ben going in for surgery.. don't you dare touch my baby.. ::punch doctor in face::

I wonder if they'll give his hair a trim while he's in there.. it's really getting out of control. red curls are cute.. but the 'fro he's got going is truly chaos.. he's going to look like Shawn White soon.


A few recent Benji moments...

The big question....

The question that I've heard the most over the past few days:

"What are you going to do?"

Hmmmm.. that's part of the beauty of this. I'm 35 years old and I gave youth a good attempt complete with awkward adolecense. I gave college the good ol' college try and didn't do too badly. I've had a very successful career for the past 13 years.. This May would have been my 10th anniversary at my current company. I don't regret this decision in the slightest. I'm not afraid that we're going to wind up on food stamps or living on the street. Benji will continue to be the best dressed kid on the block (complete with nail polish of his chosen color).. all we're talking about here people is a little change. People do it all the time. Not people in my family.. but people.. trust me.. it's healthy.

"What am I going to do?"

Well.. we've got a lot of things to do right now.. I have about a month or so to finish up at the office. Since the type of work I did wasn't exactly 9 to 5 and since I managed my own projects.. there's a lot to do to move responsibilities around. I will probably spend most of most weekends between now and the end of March at work trying to tie up loose ends; finish up projects that can be finished and pass on projects that are more long term.

We're also looking for a new apartment or house. We've basically decided on an apartment for the next few years even though it sure would be nice to be paying into equity instead of paying someone else's mortgage.. while we have money to put down on a house, there are better uses for that money.. like as a buffer given that we need to adjust to living on one-ish income.

Looking for a new apartment is more challenging than it sounds because we now have a preschooler and need to find a town with a school system that we like just in case we're there when Benji starts kindergarten or when he gets into their special ed. program for his speech if that's determined to be a good idea. Finding a place in our price range is one concern of course.. but we're more concerned with finding a place with a yard for Ben to play in and a safe neighborhood (Arlington is grand.. it's yuppieville.. with the exception of the 2 registered level 3 sex offenders living within 3 blocks of our current house).. we're picky. we want a dog. We want to be out of the city.. but not so far out that Shiel can't have a reasonable commute (albeit by train.. but a train with wifi is a special train indeed).

We need to pack. If nothing else, my work schedule ending before our lease ends allows me some time to do some hard core packing.. and I'm sure Benji will be a great help.. *laff* We have to be careful.. the last time we moved, we packed a cat.

At least we don't have to move Orca this time. Orca was (may he rest in peace) our 14" long goldfish who needed to be moved from Malden to Arlington.. we rented a car for that one.. I'm sure they were trying to figure out the fishie smell for quite some time.

We have already gotten a year's membership to the Children's Museum in Boston.. can't wait to spend lots of mornings exploring and climbing and playing with friends.

We will get Benji going in the Boys and Girls club so he can continue with swimming lessons and gymnastics and fun stuff like that.

We are planning to trade in our car for something with a slightly more reasonable car payment with a slightly more reasonable gas milage. This is especially desirable since I tore the front bumper off during last weeks snow storm. (I'll have to post a photo).

I plan to continue blogging. I've gotten more, emotionally, out of blogging for the past few weeks than a year of therapy has given me.. this is good. As long as I keep being honest with myself and use this as a forum to air my thoughts and be open to the communities response.

The big change.. the one that has my mom in a cold sweat.. is that i'll be moving from being a "working mom" to a "stay at home mom" for a period of time. This is not a scary thing. I'm more worried about all the phone calls we have to make to change over our contact information and getting utilities turned on and off with a move than I am about the transition to being a SAHM (stay at home mom). Benji will be starting Kindergarten in a few years.. time is limited. Before I know it, he will be in high school.. I don't want to miss this time when we've worked so hard to be in a position to be able to do this financially. Will we be going on European vacations? hell no.. but we weren't doing that anyway since we've been relatively strapped while paying for the sky high rent in the city and the sky high daycare/preschool in the city. We have thought this out.. a LOT. No reason to worry mom.. this was planned.

What else will I do? Well.. I'd like to find things that I enjoy again.. I haven't touched my guitars in years. We have a beautiful piano (two, if you count the one at Grandma Jaaym's in Texas).. we have a child who is drawn to musical instruments.

Let me pause to say that I love Apolo Anton Ohno.

I also hope to do some writing. I've started a children's book. I have ideas for a short story. It's something I've always enjoyed but have never taken the time to do. Now.. the funny part is that being a stay at home mom is going to take so much of my time and energy that I'll probably be blogging about how i can't find time to write.. we'll see.

In the short term.. I'm going to work on Shiela's birthday present. I'm going to go to Verizon Wireless tomorrow to say a lot of dirty words for them selling me a phone that can't take video messages. I'm also going to register for the March for Babies walk for the March of Dimes.

Given that I've spent the past 3 years in full panic mode about dealing with my job and feeling like I'm missing out on everything in my only child's childhood.. and hobbies have included staring at Shiela at the end of the evening before we crash in exhaustion and complaining about how we are too stressed to enjoy anything.

This is a good thing.


OMG.. I did it!

I just gave my notice at work. An extended notice.. probably a month and a half or so.. but an end date. For my few co-worker friends who check my blog.. we must go out for a drink after work some night soon. This is still on the down-low (well.. aside from me announcing it to the entire internet community).. so don't mention it to others here at work until I've had the chance to make the rounds (probably next week) to tell some of my closer coworkers in person. They'd already know if they read my blog... those slackers.. :) j/k

Ok.. now I have to breathe.. I haven't done that in about 24 hours...


Men in tights

I'm watching the men's figure-skating long program in the Olympics. I haven't followed men on skates that don't involve 10 year olds with hockey sticks in quite some time. Back in the day, my ex was into it all.. and, by default, so was I. I found it fascinating.. but I also found it to be less schmaltzy. Maybe it's the outfits now. Maybe it's my fascination with Apolo Anton Ohno.. now THAT is what a male skater should look like. He even has cooler skates.

I have a big day planned tomorrow. I may go skydiving.. probably not. I may shave my head for world peace... probably not. Thinking about it now.. at 10:30pm.. either of those options sound much simpler and less nerve wracking than what I've got on deck. All are equally thrilling and I still may puke.

Mom.. cool your heals.. it has nothing to do with more grandchildren and while I'm not blogging it yet, I'll tell you.. you just need to call.. but not now and not when I'm sitting at my desk at work. Texting would work.. but my cell phone is completely dead. It must be driving you crazy. :)

There must be an 80's hair band song about this...

I am getting ready to jump off of a proverbial cliff. Can't blog about it quite yet, but all I can say is that I'm going to try to hold on tight!

::grit teeth::

........ to be continued...


Choice and Life?

I found out earlier today that a woman I know recently had an abortion. I can't decide what to write. I really avoid blogging about topics like this because the subject is SO polarized. I don't like conflict. I also don't know if this person still reads my blog.. probably not.. but maybe. There's also the fact that another woman who reads my blog had an abortion like 17-ish years ago and I know had some baggage over that. I don't want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings or.. well.. create waves.

This is really bothering me, though. I am infertile. I see the fertile-world through filtered glasses still. My chances of having a "whoopsie" are close to zero... First the planets would all have to be aligned and I'd have to have planted a potato at the last full moon (I'm not joking.. this really works.. ask anyone going through infertility treatments) and then at the appropriate time I'd have to trip and land on a pen.is and I'm not around those things very often.. well.. I guess I am.. but they are covered up and I pretend they aren't there.

I got off topic.

I am pro-choice.. politically. I think that abortion should be legal and safely available through the licensed medical community. I also think it's a much bigger issue than just misguided birth control. The naive teenager in me thinks that if people were just educated and careful, mistakes wouldn't happen, and if they did, then they weren't mistakes and there are always options and life is life is life is life. You might stop me there and say that I just contradicted myself by saying I was pro-choice and then making a comment that sounds very much "pro-life"...

As an aside.. I hate the term "pro-life".. it's like people who think that women should have control of their bodies and shouldn't have government rules apply to their reproductive system are "anti-life".

I am infertile. Most of my friends are infertile. Some have had children through a range of infertility treatments. Ben was conceived by IUI with ovulation induction and the help of a donor. Some were conceived with the help of IVF and egg donors. Some were conceived through IVF and various medical treatments. Some were adopted internationally. Some were adopted domestically. Some families have chosen to live childless.

I have friends who have lost pregnancies in the most tragic of circumstances. Most recently, a friend who lost her twins about halfway through her pregnancy. Another friend who lost her child and almost lost herself about halfway through her pregnancy and who has gone on to adopt a beautiful little girl. Another friend who conceived triplets and had to have a selective reduction for her own safety knowing that she could not carry triplets to term and would have lost all three (and maybe herself).

After hearing the news today, it hurts my heart to know that there was a potential little person who is no longer because he or she was not wanted. I would have taken him or her. Yes.. that's a very emotional response.. I can't save the world.. I can't take in every child that needs a home.. I know this is bigger than I can even comprehend. I also need to give this woman some credit.. there is obviously more to this story than what I know.. I know that there were medical issues with her last pregnancy and there are a TON of other issues that factored into the decision. I know and respect that she feels she made the right decision.

I think what I need to come to terms with is the view of the world that I have through infertility glasses. I still cringe when I see pregnant women.. maybe I always will.

I'm seriously debating whether to post this message or not.. this is just me trying to work through my feelings with words.


Do I still have all of my bumper?

I'm still not sure. I forgot to check when I finally got my car into the driveway tonight. I guess the "good" news is that it had already been mangled by another snowbank during the last snow pileup.. but tonight was special in so many ways.

I left work at the normal time to haul butt across Cambridge and Arlington to pick up Benji at daycare. His daycare, if you recall from last year.. is at the top of Mount Everest. Our car.. a Mazda 5.. is a lovely car.. family-mobile.. perfect in every way.. almost every way. It's a piece of crap in the snow and because of the damned alloy wheels that are shredding from failed parallel parking attempts over 3 years we're lucky if we can keep air in the tires. Ok.. back to today.

I made the decision to go for the halfway point up Mount Everest. That halfway point is a public street and is treated and plowed as such.. I was fairly confident that I could get up that part and then, with luck, bully the rest of the way up, or.. park there and walk the rest of the way.

My plan didn't work out. I got halfway up.. threw it into a low gear and gunned it and hoped for the best. I got about 20 feet up the next section of completely unplowed roadway before the car completely lost its grip on the road and I just slid back in a counterclockwise motion. I "landed" with my front bumper up against a curb, stopped by a large snowbank. If I hadn't been so pissed.. I would have gotten out of the car and taken a picture.. it really was quite the move.

Now.. picture this.. it's 5:22pm. 95% of the parents seem to pick up their kids between 5:25 and 5:30pm.. when the daycare closes. So yes... there were about 10 other cars also trying to get as far up the hill as possible. Those that were already up the hill had to wait for me to dislodge my vehicle before they could go anywhere and those that were down the hill had to either wait (if they had 4WD and felt lucky) or park their cars and walk... waving at me with "holy crap that could have been me" eyes.

Right when I was about to leave the car for dead.. a very nice plow driver stopped on his way up the public part of the road and pulled over and came over shaking his head saying "oh no.. this is bad... this is wicked bad..." He shoveled sand/salt around my tires and plowed areas he could reach without hitting my car (all of this while other parents are coming and going with their kids) and then he pushed me out. I'm not sure if all of my bumper came with me given the crunching sound.. but I was happy to be free.

I then parked the car.. thanked the very nice man profusely while he was still saying something about "wicked hahd ta get cahs round town t'day" .. and I walked up the hill to pick up my son.

Benji was sitting on the couch playing drums with Ruth. She laughed as soon as I walked through the door. She had heard from all of the other parents about my predicament. She asked if the car was still stuck and if she should have Memo (her son) come to help. All is fine. I'm back to being relaxed..walking up an icy slope will do that to you.

Given that I had to get Benjamin back down the mountain.. I opted to get him completely geared up with all of his snow gear. Let the screaming ensue..

When we walked outside, Benji was very concerned about all the snow all over the ground and told me to be careful because it was icy. Thanks, kid.. just wait for the hill. As we started walking down the hill.. we found that the big city plows had made it to that intersection where I got stuck. They were a big peaved that my car was parked on the street near that intersection but they can bite me.. it's not a snow emergency route and it's wicked hahd to get cahs round town t'day.

Unfortunately.. Ben was a little afraid of the huge plow truck that kept banging around.. so we just waited at the top of the hill until they finished plowing around our minivan and then we headed down the slope. No injuries to report.

The drive home was uneventful.. there wasn't much to go wrong given that it's just about 1/2 a mile on a straight unsloped road.

Well.. that was until we got home. See.. we have a shared driveway.. it happens with a two family house. Our neighbors were already parked and appeared to have not moved for hours.. and the plows had very nicely plowed heavy mucky snow across the end of the driveway. There is enough room.. when our neighbor is parked, for us to drive past him and park up by the garage. BUT.. there's a few inches of clearance between the cars and a few inches of clearance between our car and the shrubs/house.. ice and snow pack at the end of the driveway isn't conducive to getting into the driveway without hitting either the house or the neighbor.. and since I've hit other neighbor's before (well.. their cars)... I opted to park on the street and shovel out. It's irritating to shovel when the landlord pays for a landscaping service to do snow removal.. but they are never there when you're stuck at the end of your driveway blocking traffic.

That's about it.. Ben helped me shovel.. we came upstairs and tossed our wet coats over the old steam radiators and put Tom and Jerry on.. Shiela got home a few minutes later and made a pit stop at the steak place across the street for some steak and seafood.. so the night ended on a better note..

I still don't know the status of the front bumper.

Surgery date set...

Next Thursday, the 25th.

Tonight.. we time his breathing to see if they will take the adenoids or both the adenoids and the tonsils. I was "ok" with the whole ear tubes thing.. especially after doing the whole routine twice. The idea of them "cutting" something off of him really bothers me though.. I trust the doctor completely.. but this is NOT something I had planned.

Ear tubes going in (again).. adenoids coming out.. gah!

Ok.. so Benji saw his ENT this morning. He had a raging ear infection last week and we've been on the wait and see list for going back in for a third round of tubes.

As it turns out.. the ENT also recommends removing his adenoids. They are very large.. obstructing his breathing when he sleeps (he snores like an old man) and have actually started making "typical" changes in his facial structure (i didn't know this could happen). He has a VERY high arched pallet and the areas just below his eyes has started flattening. It is something that is a cue to the ENT that the adenoids are too large.

Interestingly enough.. we found out that the binky.. yes.. that evil binky.. is actually doing him GOOD. It's soothing for him and given the adenoid issue.. it helps him breathe. Eff all y'all who told us to throw it away!

Ok.. that's a bit harsh... maybe I'll save the f-bomb for the dentist.

So.. we'll get a call later today with a surgery date. It's an outpatient thing. (good God!).. he'll have the surgery on a Thursday and assuming all goes well, he should be back to normal and back to school and eating/jumping/hearing by the following Monday.

There is a slight chance they may take his tonsils too. They want us to watch his sleep patterns with a watch with a second hand and see if his breath pauses for more than 4 seconds while he's sleeping/snoring. If so.. out come the tonsils.

I had an agreement with God.. 2010 was going to be easier than 2009. I've worked on my end of the bargain.. I think He needs to step it up a notch. Send prayers and/or positive thoughts for my little man! I'll keep you all updated as we learn more.


Missing friends...

Our friends, Snickollet and her twins, Ya and Ya (Maddie and Riley) moved to Oregon last summer. It was, without question, the best thing for their family. Everyone agrees with this.. but more than 6 months later, we're still sad. I decided to pull together some links from old posts that I wrote about the kids as they started their friendship. It made me laugh.. to remember some of the antics.. wishing I had a pic of the three kids polishing off all the avacado at Ixtapa.. But to actually sit down and write about it makes me cry a couple tears.. one or two.. oh hell.. i've gone through two boxes of tissues.

We met Stacey and the Ya-Ya's on April 1, 2007.. Benjamin's first day at daycare. What we didn't know at the time was that Stacey's husband, John, was in the final stages of pancreatic cancer and would be lost less than two weeks later. We didn't know this couple.. we knew Stacey in passing.. I don't think we knew her name yet. But both Shiela and I heard the news about John and it saddened us for that family and it terrified us for the unknowns for our own family.

I'm not great with making friends.. I'm shy.. I don't talk on the phone. All things that make building a new true friendship quite difficult. What I didn't know is that having kids helps.. and Stacey isn't shy! She also doesn't talk on the phone.. but she's more than comfortable saying "hey.. come over in your pj's and I'll have ice cream and we'll watch american idol after the kids go to bed" (which became a weekly routine for several seasons of the show.)

Money is tight. Time is tight. We haven't been able to see Stacey or the kids since their move. That's not for a lack of trying.. we've tried to sell the cats on Craig's List and no dice. We'll find a way.

I put together a few links to some blog posts that I wrote about some adventures the kids had together back in Boston. Hope you enjoy.

A trip to the farm.

Time in a bottle.

Summer Fun.

This is my favorite.. :)

The Chomp heard around the world.

Miss you guys...


I love him.... I really do.. Apolo Ohno

I think that a good 95% of the Winter Olympics should be set with short skating... who's with me?

Time Zone Schmime Zone

Just because they aren't awake in Vancouver... I am.. I see no reason where there's no Olympic coverage right now. At least they could have those heart warming stories that always make you tear up as you take another bit of ice cream.

But no.. I'm left to watch some informerical of about the magicJack.


Benji is a hero

I've always known this.. but today he proved it.

[Disclaimer: He is 3 and didn't realize that play-doh qualifies as items too small to give to babies]

This morning, there was one baby who was upset when her mom and dad left (she's less than a year old). This is pretty common for her and Benji is one of the few that can calm her down. R put them both in high chairs in the kitchen away from the overwhelming chaos of the main front room. The kitchen opens into the front room.

R gave Ben some play-doh and the baby got some baby toys. She moved the baby's chair to a distance that was much further away from Ben's chair so she couldn't get to his stuff. As she moved into the other room to keep welcoming the other kids in along with the other 3 providers. Ben made his mode.

He has just learned to share. The baby's high chair was across the room.. but Ben has a good arm and thought she would like to play with some play-doh. He didn't realize she would put it right in her mouth... which she did.

He immediately screamed "Mommy, mommy, mommy" for R (when we're there she's Grandma.. when we're not there.. she's Mommy"). She said.. just one minute (in spanish). He sternly said "NO!!! Mommy, mommy, mommy, now!" She can hustling in to find the baby with a small wad of play-doh stuck to the top of her mouth. Thank god she hadn't tried to swallow it or choke on it.. but we were all very proud of Benji for recognizing the emergency and insisting on help RIGHT THEN.

What a brilliant kid (and lucky baby)


Every two years I sit waiting patiently for the opening ceremony for the Olympics to begin. I know.. after years and years of watching this ceremony, that by the time they get to Canada, I start cursing the fact that we live in the United States of America which happens to be Waaaaaaay at the end of the alphabet.

I :HATE: Doctors.... hate hate hate

I have had a migraine for 3 days this week.. Monday, Thursday and Today. I called my primary care physician this morning at 9am (when they open) and left a message for my doctor's nurse explaining the situation and asking what to do. I waited.

At 1pm.. after their lunch.. I called back. The receptionist asked if I had left a message.. I said "yes". She (she's awesome by the way).. put me on hold and went back to talk to the nurse. The nurse said that she had my message and was just waiting for word from my doctor.

AT 4:00 PM, the nurse called me to tell me that my PCP wanted me to call my neurologist. It's 4pm... do you REALLY think the neurologist's office is going to be welcoming to someone calling at the very end of the day? Of course.. I got her voicemail and apologized over and over for the timing and explained what my PCP did and asked what she thought I should do and could she call me. My options, as I see it.. are going to the hospital for more substantial pain meds.. which I don't want to do, or getting a prescription for an injectable form of Imitrex, which works.. but the tablets hurt my stomach.

It's now 4:43... they aren't going to call back. I hate all doctors. The good news is that I do have meds that help.. it's just that they only help for 4 hours and then the migraines come raging back.

Anyone have any advice?


I started writing...

I had an upswing at one point today with my migraine and decided to put some of the ideas I had last night onto "paper". It felt great. I don't know if it's any good (and I'm not sharing until it is done.. but Shiela liked it.. :)

Working outside the home.. except...

So.. let's count. I won't even go back to January 1 on this one. In the past two weeks, I've been out of work 4 days.. actually.. more like 4.5 days. Two of those day were spent taking care of Benji during his virus/ear-infection/seizure-recovery days last week. I worked all weekend.. but it was catch-up work and didn't really help my chargeability.

This week I was home Monday with a migraine and am home again today with a Migraine. Even better.. I woke up at 5am and tried to go to the bathroom and fell into the sink (hard to do in a bathroom as small as ours) and then fell into bed.. pressed my head into a pillow to get a little relief and woke Shiela up to get my pain meds. She's so good to me. She also got me a puke bucket "just in case".

Today will be spent sporatically checking my work email and voicemail hoping nothing comes up that would require me to focus (even with my glasses on) because eveything is blurry. I just loaded up Netflix on my computer and plan to put my "face-bra" (eye mask) on to block out the light and listen to the movie.. which I've seen so many times I can picture it in my head.

In other news... since I was up so much last night.. I have a few ideas and thoughts. First.. Ellen has breathed new life into American Idol and I love it and I love her.. she's hot (that's the pain meds speaking). Second.. I am going to take a stab at writing a children's book. I don't know the business.. I do have an idea though.. and the star character is Benjamin Bailey.. watch for me.. it's going to be the next Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel. Or maybe I'll sell it out of our living room.. or maybe I'll just give it away.. either way.. it's something that has me interested and thinking (of course.. that could be the pain meds.)


A tour of my site

Anyone who has been reading this blog.. or my last blog, Two Moms and a Baby.. knows that I'm a geek and I like moving stuff around on my site and changing things like backgrounds and text colors.

Given all the changes.. I wanted to take a minute to point you all toward a link toward the top of the main page.. it's just above the main picture of Ben. There are two links.. one is "Home" and one is "My Favorite Bloggers". The "Home" one just takes you to the main blog page.. but the other one brings up a list of some of.. well.. some of my favorite bloggers.. check them out. Their sites are way cooler than mine. Just don't forget me...

"don't forget me when I'm gone... do-wah.. my heart would break..."

Ok.. got that out of my system... on to more pressing items.. like watching the flurries come down while everyone in my office runs around debating when to leave because of the blizzard..


Facebookers like my blog!

Hi guys..

If you haven't noticed, I've created a Facebook Fan Page that is tied to this blog. They are not the same thing. I don't post all of my blog postings to the Fan Page.. that would irritate people. I mainly post product info and tips/tricks that Shiela and I have picked up over the years and the occasional random photo of Benji.

While you can't see everything that's on my blog from the Facebook Page, I ::have:: created a widget (don't ask.. it's just a internet word like "tweet") at the bottom of my post on each page that allows you to scroll through recent postings on my FB Page.

Clear as mud? I know my mom will call for a walk-through and she's going to be worried that she missed something. Basic rule is that fun fluff goes on FB and fun fluff AND important stuff goes on the blog. K? k...

If you have a Facebook account and you want to make me feel popular.. click on "become a fan". I have 41 fans right now.. i'm shooting for more fans than the "When I was your age, Pluto was a planet" Page, which has 1,837,942 members. I have few people to meet.

As a teaser.. if you don't check the FB now.. you'll miss this:

Just a spoonful of sugar

I'm not the first one to deal with this. There are plenty of sites available with lots of home remedies to help get your kids to take their medicine. Heck.. even Mary Poppins had an idea. Golly.. even pediatricians and pharmacists have ideas. I know what works for my kid though (actually.. this is all Shiela.. so let me rephrase that.. "Shiela knows what works for our kid."

Ben is on Augmentin.. it tastes like chalk.. it looks like liquid chalk.. it tastes like chalk (I already said that). We've never had a problem with him taking meds.. but with this one.. it was a no-go. SO... Shiela stopped at the pharmacy and had them add bubble gum flavor (same taste as his Motrin.. which he takes with no problem) and since their flavor packs don't add color (still looks like chalk)..

She added food coloring. We now have pink, bubble-gum flavored, Augmentin. And he will take it!

I did my best to throw a kink in the works by offering him a piece of chocolate if he took his medicine. So how he expects chocolate with each dose (of Augmentin, or Tylenol, or when *I* take my own medicine). Shiela wins mom of the month with her idea. I'm going to go get slapped by the dentist for my idea.


Noun plus verb plus punctuation = sentence

I seem to be going through the opposite of writer's block. I want to write all of the time. I have a lot to say. Some of it isn't "bloggable" yet.. most is. The problem is that the only time I have to write is after Benji goes to bed.. which.. these days.. is after 9pm.

Another concern is that I don't really have a "theme" to this blog. Some people write about parenting. Some write about green approaches to costruction. Some write about politics.. religion.. their jobs.. their marriage.. photography.. music.. grief.. joy. My blog is just about my life.

To make it more challenging, I have an agreement with myself to avoid talking about politics, religion, my job, and any of the typical minor blips and bumps in my marriage and parenting responsibilities. This is going to end soon I think.. With the exception of my job (which is think is unethical to blog about).. I'm going to attempt to avoid being afraid of backlash. If I write about politics.. people may disagree.. this is ok.. I'm open to their comments as long as everyone stays respectful.. plus... I have the ability to delete any negative posts... bwa-ha-ha-ha.

On that note.. Shiela and I are watching Terminator Salvation.. so I must turn my attention to that. More soon...


Restart the clock; seizure #6

[Disclaimer: Grandma I. and Grandma Jaaym.. don't panic.. it's all fine.. this is just me musing about it all after the fact.. Ben's fine.]

Well.. we don't have specific proof because we didn't witness the actual seizure, but both Shiela and I are 99.9% sure that he did, in fact, have another one a few nights ago. There has been a nasty virus going around that all the kids at school have or have already gotten. Ben was out of preschool from last Friday through this past Wednesday.

On Monday night at about 2am, Ben woke up and called to us from his room. This, in itself, wasn't too much of a waving red flag.. but he usually does just come in our room and climb into our bed by himself. I went in to check on him and he was roasting. I took him back to our room, took his temp (it was 103) and gave him motrin and something to drink. His temp dropped and he went back to sleep.

On Tuesday, we brought him to the doctor for the second time in 4 days. We found that no.. he still didn't have an ear infection, although he has fluid in one of his ears, and that yes.. it's still the same virus. He was contagious until the temp broke.. ish.. and being the overprotective types that we are.. we had planned to keep him home for a month (just kidding).

For the remainder of Tuesday his temp stayed down and on Wednesday I stayed home with him just in case. It was a TERRIBLE day. He was destructive, hitting, screaming.. just being an all around PITA. I was exhausted by about 9 AM.

I had an appointment with my therapist that afternoon and Benji was going stir crazy from being inside for almost a week. I called over to Ruth and she more than happy to take him for about an hour so he could play with the other sick kids. (note: Mom.. he had been fever free for more than 24 hours... so I wasn't breaking the rules).

Things moved along.. work was crazy for Shiela and me.. trying to catch up after both missing two days of work covering for Benji's time home. Benji continued to be a terror. Very difficult to control.. VERY rough at daycare.. we initially wrote it off to him adjusting to being back after being gone for a week and maybe he still wasn't feeling 100%.

Yesterday (Friday), when we picked up Benji.. he was sitting with Ruth.. and neither looked very happy. There was a tube of elmers glue sitting next to Ruth. We just took one look and were like.. "uh oh...". Ben was the last kid there and he had just taken a three second opportunity when Ruth ran to the bathroom to rip all of her decorations that the kids had helped with off of the living room wall. It was another day of him being a nightmare.. he threw an entire dish of yogurt all over some of the other kids.. just general destructive stuff. The weird part was that he was in a good mood and the lash-outs didn't fit with the typical temper tantrum.

Ruth mentioned his seizures and said that this was exactly how he was when he had his seizures and that she was worried about it. Shiela and I took this to mean.. maybe he was working on some pre-seizure activity especially with the fluid in his ears and we decided to bring him in to his pedi again today (3rd time in a week.. are you proud mom? Ben's working on his own wing at ABC Pediatrics).

Update:: Approximately 8 hour later...

Everyone concurs.. little dude probably had a minor seizure or at least some pretty significant pre-seizure activity. Nothing really to do about that but ride out his mood swings while he gets back on his game. He's still in the category of typical febrile seizure disorder since we've only had 1.5 seizure that was unprovoked..

More importantly, he now has a raging ear infection. Doh! We were pretty sure that the fluid in his ears was bothering him but as of his last two visits this past week -- there was no infection. Not anymore.. his poor right ear looks painful!

The doctor was awesome (and Ben is such a good kid).. she let both me and Shiela look in both of Ben's ears.. one had just fluid but no infection and the other was infected. It was amazing to be able to see it (and a bit gross), but at least we know what they mean when they take a peek and say "whoa.. that must hurt".

We'll be calling his ENT on Monday morning and I'm fairly sure that he'll have his third set of ear tubes in within two weeks depending on how full their surgery schedule is.


No high sticking..

Our adventures begin long before we get to preschool each morning...

YAY! How much wood can a woodchuck chuck...

I can talk again!!! Yahoo!