Choice and Life?

I found out earlier today that a woman I know recently had an abortion. I can't decide what to write. I really avoid blogging about topics like this because the subject is SO polarized. I don't like conflict. I also don't know if this person still reads my blog.. probably not.. but maybe. There's also the fact that another woman who reads my blog had an abortion like 17-ish years ago and I know had some baggage over that. I don't want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings or.. well.. create waves.

This is really bothering me, though. I am infertile. I see the fertile-world through filtered glasses still. My chances of having a "whoopsie" are close to zero... First the planets would all have to be aligned and I'd have to have planted a potato at the last full moon (I'm not joking.. this really works.. ask anyone going through infertility treatments) and then at the appropriate time I'd have to trip and land on a pen.is and I'm not around those things very often.. well.. I guess I am.. but they are covered up and I pretend they aren't there.

I got off topic.

I am pro-choice.. politically. I think that abortion should be legal and safely available through the licensed medical community. I also think it's a much bigger issue than just misguided birth control. The naive teenager in me thinks that if people were just educated and careful, mistakes wouldn't happen, and if they did, then they weren't mistakes and there are always options and life is life is life is life. You might stop me there and say that I just contradicted myself by saying I was pro-choice and then making a comment that sounds very much "pro-life"...

As an aside.. I hate the term "pro-life".. it's like people who think that women should have control of their bodies and shouldn't have government rules apply to their reproductive system are "anti-life".

I am infertile. Most of my friends are infertile. Some have had children through a range of infertility treatments. Ben was conceived by IUI with ovulation induction and the help of a donor. Some were conceived with the help of IVF and egg donors. Some were conceived through IVF and various medical treatments. Some were adopted internationally. Some were adopted domestically. Some families have chosen to live childless.

I have friends who have lost pregnancies in the most tragic of circumstances. Most recently, a friend who lost her twins about halfway through her pregnancy. Another friend who lost her child and almost lost herself about halfway through her pregnancy and who has gone on to adopt a beautiful little girl. Another friend who conceived triplets and had to have a selective reduction for her own safety knowing that she could not carry triplets to term and would have lost all three (and maybe herself).

After hearing the news today, it hurts my heart to know that there was a potential little person who is no longer because he or she was not wanted. I would have taken him or her. Yes.. that's a very emotional response.. I can't save the world.. I can't take in every child that needs a home.. I know this is bigger than I can even comprehend. I also need to give this woman some credit.. there is obviously more to this story than what I know.. I know that there were medical issues with her last pregnancy and there are a TON of other issues that factored into the decision. I know and respect that she feels she made the right decision.

I think what I need to come to terms with is the view of the world that I have through infertility glasses. I still cringe when I see pregnant women.. maybe I always will.

I'm seriously debating whether to post this message or not.. this is just me trying to work through my feelings with words.