Caution: Toddler Vomit

Ok.. so when I dropped Ben off at daycare yesterday morning, everything was just fine. He was in a fine mood. No tantrums. No problem.

I get a call just before noon from Ruth saying that Ben has thrown up 3 times. Ugh! We've done the ear infection thing, the ear tubes surgery twice, even 5 seizures an EEG and a stay at Children's Hospital (not to mention several ambulance rides).. but we've never done puke. Of course, I'm not counting baby spit-up or that freaky thing that happens with a 9 month old when they think they can keep eating forever and at some point it just comes right back at you. I'm talking sick-puke.

I'm queezy just thinking about it.

I got to daycare to pick him up. All of the other kids were very excited to see me and were telling me how Ben blew chunks all over everything and how he had to get new clothes on and... they kept going on and on and on. Ben just had sick-eyes and climbed into my arms and pointed at the door and said "go?"

We stopped at the pharmacy and picked up some pedialyte and ginger ale along with a brand new pack of binkys. You need something to make you feel better when you're sick. Binkys may not fix everything.. but they sure help.

He and I proceeded to spend the afternoon and early evening sipping grape pedialyte, having some dry cheerios and some toast and watching The Incredibles and Drumline on TV. I have to say.. he loved Drumline. He was absolutely hooked to watching the marching band scenes and would clap after each performance. It was cute.

The crapper of it all was that there was a commercial for a new horror movie that kept playing at each commercial break which required me to bend myself into pretzels to shield him from the tv. Then there was the commercial for the Flirty Girl Fitness Boutique DVDs.



There's no way to describe just how horrible these commercials were.. so I'll leave you with a quick clip of their "workout dvd"... (btw.. this should be rated PG-13, although my 2 year old son saw it at every commercial break yesterday afternoon)



Crazy..

Anywho.. Ben is doing better today, although I know that only from checking in by phone.. I've been down to Hartford and back for work and have been on the road since about 6am. To say I'm exhausted is putting it mildly.. whew! At least it's almost the weekend!

Btw.. the daycare provider listed off about 3/4 of their kids (including her grandson) who had also come down with this stomach bug... ugh!

"It's like he's trying to speak to me..."

That's one of my favorite quotes from Finding Nemo. Squirt is giving Dorie and Marlin a rundown of proper exiting technique and Marlin says "It's like he's trying to speak to me.."

That's been the theme with Ben for the past few weeks. He is talking all the time now.. we just don't always know what he's trying to tell us. Sometimes it is clear as day. Like when he chucks his binky across his bedroom and then says "Mooooommmmmmyyyyyyy... uh oh!... beeee!" I get that.. translation: "mommy, my bink ACCIDENTALLY got tossed across the room.. oh no! can you please come get it for me?"

Clear.. no problem.

This morning.. not so clear. The little dude has been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. Actually.. he sleeps GREAT. It's getting him to sleep that is the challenge. We've been spoiled. He's always had a really short and sweet nighttime routine and we've never really had to struggle with it. Well, we're paying for it now. Last night we opted to let him "cry-it-out".. i.e. we weren't going back in to get his binky or put his tippy of water back in his crib or give him a hug or pick out a new book for him. We gave him an hour. He really didn't cry. He yelled, threw things, jumped, kicked, laughed, babbled, practiced running from one side of the crib to the other and then falling backward and seeing how much of a bounce he could get..

Shiela and I were watching 24.. sort of. We had it on, with the volume pretty low, and I was watching Ben on the video monitor and every time we'd hear a crash or a scream, shiela would say "what's he doing".. and i'd check and give her the low down on his activities. Every once in a while he would do something funny. Once he decided to try to shove his tippy cup out between the bars in the crib. He grunted and screamed. If we hadn't had the video monitor, it sounded like he got stuck somewhere for sure. Nope.. just mad that the cup doesn't fit through the bars.

About 40 minutes into our vigil, and after a lot of eye rubbing and blanket chewing (the bink had long since gotten thrown to the floor), he started truly sobbing. I went in and gave him his binky and a hug and he let me know that he was upset with me (tried to kick me as i was lovingly giving him a goodnight hug)... but when I left the room, he was laying down with his bink in his mouth and he didn't make a peep. He was out cold in just minutes.

Now.. I don't want to do this every night.. but at least he was asleep before 11pm last night!

On to this morning.

Since he's been going to sleep so late, getting him up in the morning has been torture. I can usually get him dressed before he even decides to open his eyes. This morning was no different. I poured him, fully clothed, onto the rocker with one of his blankets and put sesame street on while I packed up his lunch.

I was talking about Obama and explaining the inauguration to him (because he was listening.. right..). Then I said "whose special day is today?" and he says "bamama". Then he says "happy.. too youuu..." I was like wait.. what.. did he just say "Obama" and did he just say Happy Birthday? The kid is brilliant! It's not exactly Obama's birthday.. but it's close enough for a 2 year old!

Of course, following this epiphany, we stumbled out to the car where he kept screaming "NO... MOMMY... MU!" And I'm like "do you want your milk?" and he's like "NO... MOMMY... MU!" And I'm like "do you want your music on?" and he's like "NO... MOMMY... MU!"

It took me the entire trip to daycare to realize that he wanted me to put the hood up on my jacket because it's cold outside. It's like he's trying to talk to me...

Personalized Stationary

Go check out my new post over at Skirt!

Green Tubes... Check!

Ok.. so Benji got his ear tubes yesterday and we are very proud of what a big boy he was. I have a long story to write about it.. like usual.. complete with pictures.. but I haven't had the chance to sit down and write.. doh! So.. to hold you over.. here are some pics!

I need a Jeep

I've always wanted a Jeep. Hugely unreliable and largely not practical. It would, however, help get Benji to daycare in the morning.

We have one of those ordinary regular minivan/wagon crossover vehicles with no all-wheel drive. I know.. how strange for two lesbians. Turns out that we were broke when we traded in my old truck for the family mobile and opted for the Mazda instead of the fully loaded Subaru. Go figure.

Ok.. this is hard to explain without a picture, but I'll try. Our daycare is located at the top of Mount Everest. On an unpaved street. Off a cul-da-sac. When we interviewed this particular daycare, my old pickup started to smoke and let out an odd groaning sound about halfway up the hill. If we hadn't gotten rid of the truck due to the fact that we needed a back seat for the baby and his gear, we would have burned it out within a week of driving up that hill.

It's winter.

It has snowed approximately 17 feet over the past month here in the Great Boston Area (ok.. so maybe that is a slight exaggeration.. but the stuff just isn't melting!). As a result.. driving up the dangerously steep hill to daycare has redefined itself once again for the winter months. To make it more interesting this year, it seems that the neighbor of our daycare has some parking challenges.. I have lost count of how many cars they are trying to smash into their lack of a driveway.

As a result, I have to gun it at the bottom of the hill.. try not to wipe out the school bus that picks up a child in a wheelchair that lives halfway up the hill (what were her parents thinking?) and make the corner without hitting any of the vehicles parking along either side of the street and then get up the 47 degree rake to the landing while dodging parked cars and the cars of other daycare parents who are trying to drive the other way down this narrow street (only wide enough for one car at a time). To top it off, while they managed to dig up the four rocks that were threatening to rip out my undercarriage over the summer, there is now a hole (pronounced "cre-vahhhhssss") that I imagine my entire vehicle will flounder in one morning.

Poor Snickollet is going to have to throw me a rope from HER Subaru to haul me out...
(btw.. snick.. maddie told me this morning that Ben's hat didn't match his boots..)

The tippy is half full... of yogurt!

Click Here to check out my latest post on Skirt!

some mornings are better than others... i just put yogurt into ben's tippy cup. crap.

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Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

Check out my first blog posting over at Skirt!

I thought I'd jump right in.. *laff* I'm determined to make waves over there! This is what they get for labeling ME a trendsetter!

Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

This definitely qualifies as TMI:

Let me set the stage.

I am Italian and Irish. All of my hair follicles are Italian and all of my skin cells are Irish. I also have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which causes lots of fun hormonal crap like infertility, weight gain and.. yes.. male-pattern hair growth. As a result, I have spent all of my adult life struggling with the topic of hair removal and self-esteem.

When I was younger, I was very self-conscious about my image. How gross was it that I could grow more facial hair than most 18 year old boys. I would take hour-long showers which would include shaving just about every inch of my body.

To complicate matters further, I have just about THE MOST sensitive skin out there. If I walk down a perfume aisle, my skin will break out in a rash (and I’ll have an asthma attack). I can only use certain soaps and one wrong move in the shaving department would leave me with little cute patterns of razor burn all over my body.

Tack on the weight gain associated with PCOS and I had a rough time during my teenage years!

Fast-forward. I’m now 34 years old and happily married. I have a 2 year old beautiful son. I am completely content with my follicular status. The solution? The product that saved my self esteem?

Hate to burst your bubble, ladies, but for me.. it was just a matter of growing up and becoming comfortable with myself. No magical cream or little gadget that painlessly removed all of the hair forever.

Now.. that said, just because I’m comfortable with myself doesn’t mean I still don’t try every product and procedure under the sun. I’ve tried every chemical ever labeled for sensitive skin hair removal (translation: it removes the skin and leaves the hair) and have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on needles and lasers and weed-wackers, oh my!

So.. as the self-proclaimed expert on the subject.. do I still spend an hour a day in the shower? Heck no! I have a toddler.. I’m lucky if I snag 10 minutes to myself. I usually have the shower curtain thrown back about 7 minutes into it by a little red headed dude who hands me my glasses and says “mommy, all done”.

To be honest, I seem to have become a bit bi-polar when it comes to hair removal. It’s currently mid-winter and we’re broke. As a result, I haven’t shaved south of the equator for close to three months and I’m starting to resemble something off of the Discovery Channel. I really could care less, aside from the fact that my hair is so thick that it occasionally makes my skin hurt from rubbing against my pants. Also.. I don’t wear skirts.. that’s key.

Like I said though.. I tend to go through mood swings. When I’m not on shaving strike, I tend to go to extremes.

wax.jpg



I’ve become a huge fan of waxing. It feels strikingly like sticking your arm in a wood chipper, but the results are fantastic. It’s also great for releasing tension after a long week at work. I’m not sure what it says about your life when going in for a waxing session sounds relaxing. I’ll blog about that another time!

Now. Leg waxing isn’t a big deal. Ripping out hair in huge chunks is never pleasant, but after the first few strips, you start to lose consciousness and it doesn’t seem to hurt as badly. There are a few areas that really hurt. For me, it’s the front of my calves and the backs of my ankles and from the knee up.

Oh, I’m just kidding.. go try it, you’ll love it. No.. seriously. It’s horrible.. but I do have some advice. Don’t go cheap. DO NOT DO IT YOURSELF. I don’t care how simple and painless those TV infomercials make it look.. spring for a trip to the spa.. and not just a trip to the spa.. a trip to an EXPENSIVE spa. I’ve tried it both ways and the experience at a real spa can not compare to having a cheap wax job done by a hair dresser with a wax melter who knows how to use it. If you go cheap, prepare to wear long slacks for at least two weeks while your legs heal from all of the bruises and ingrown hairs that you’ll get... you’ll be able to put those shorts on just in time for your leg hair to start growing back! Think “She-she-poo-poo”...

Ok.. now, I think the reason why I downplay the amount of pain caused by a full leg wax is because I’ve also started getting bikini waxes. Not just regular bikini waxes, but Brazilian bikini waxes. Those Brazilians sure are wacky! I’m not sure of the history of it all or why those folks from south of the equator get the credit for the ultimate hair removal for “south of the border”.. but it’s like the Mount Everest of hair removal. It may kill you.. but it’s the best thing ever.

Once again.. if you’re going to attempt this.. remember my words about the expensive spa. No trying to do this at home kiddos. If you’re worried about the embarrassment factor.. well.. think of it like sky-diving.. once you take the plunge.. it’s all out there and you’re in a free fall and there is no going back.

The good news is that, once you’re off the IV fluids and morphine drip, you’ll feel like a million bucks. Even if you’re the only one who knows about it (aside from your new best friend at the spa), guaranteed you’ll feel like hot stuff..

- Jen (Two Moms and a Baby)

Does this mean I have to wear makeup?

I'm going national, baby!

I've been selected to be a national blogger for Skirt!

The Skirt!® mantra: Skirt!® is all about women...their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. Skirt! is an attitude... spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.

Hmmm... I don't wear skirts and I don't wear makeup.. this should be interesting! The best part is that since I'm such a rad trendsetter (I guess that's what we call lesbian moms these days), I am being brought in as a "Skirt!setter" (get it.. a play on "trendsetter"..)

We'll see how this goes. The good news is that it will open my ranting mindless rambling up to a national audience. I think that is good news. Wait.. who are you? They are in the process of getting me set up in their system.. I'm currently trying to think of a spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent but sometimes controversial and always passionate blog posting to get me off to a good start...

Maybe I'll post about how good Ben is at expressing his desire to play Guitar Hero for hours on end. That's edgy!

A note from my sister... (a mouse update)

Blog away sister....

I haven't given you a mouse update in a bit.

I hired an exterminator, right. He came by last night. He actually laughed when I said the cat brought a mouse in my room TWICE- I'm thinking - yeah no kidding.

Wait- maybe I should back up. Wednesday- 5am- I hear this crazy meowing and scuffling in the kitchen (oh no oh no oh no)....Oh YES. He brings it in my room- drops it on the floor- it's dazed enough that he grabs it again and goes into the kitchen. I shut my door and listen to national geographic in the hallway.
Thinking ok I am not dealing with this - until I hear Ashley get up (I cannot believe this)...

So fast-forward- he kills it but doesn't destroy it. So- I pick it up and get rid of it.

Ok- so exterminator guy comes last night- sets traps inside and out. Plans on coming back Tuesday to check traps- he found a hole in the hatchway door and plugged it too (I pray that's the only way they are coming in).

Now- it's 11pm or something like that last night- Amy comes home talks to me for a bit then gets ready for bed. Now picture this...I am reading in bed...it's quiet. I hear her downstairs. All of a sudden I hear a yelp and some .....I can't even describe the noise (I am sitting here at my desk LAUGHING at loud as I type- these people think I am nuts) and I hear running- and "ohmygodohmygodohmygod"....

.......Oops- I forgot to tell her the exterminator came. (still laughing)...

She gets IN to my bed....LOL-

"beckthere'samouseinatrapbytherefridgeratoritsagluetrap
ohmygodohmygodit'salivethreefeeton,oneoffohmygodohmygodohmygod."

I am crying I am laughing so hard...the cat is walking around now trying to figure out what's up.

So Amy says to me-the kid's at jay's? yes. ok, I'm sleeping upstairs.

..haha

Fast-forward again. this morning.
She says to me- We have to get rid of the mouse in the trap....and then puts her finger on her nose slowly (GRRR). You know- that hole "nose goes"....someone says this has to be done and then everyone puts their finger on their nose and the last one to do it has to do whatever the thing is...Ok- it's something Amy did once and then the kids got a huge kick out of it and we've been doing it since Christmas.

Whatever gets you through the day right.

Anyway- we go downstairs together- both peering around the fridge. It's there- and it's dead...Well I can get rid of that. So I ask her- because now the cat is with us so I gotta hurry- can you get me a bag? So I am talking about anything to get my mind out of picking this disgusting trap up. and I put it in the bag- BUT the glue catches on the side of the bag- so the trap is teetering on the edge of the bag.

OH NO....so I yell get another bag get another bag. So she goes and gets one and we are laughing. Then...
as she's giving me the bag...

the glue lets go and the trap falls fully into the bag.. We both scream. Yes that's right....If they could have a candid camera in my house- this whole exchange would win awards- I swear it would.

Unbelievable....

one down (well two if you count the one zeke caught)...this guy is worth every penny I am telling you. I have traps set for weeks and weeks- his are set for a couple of hours and wam (well not literally- although I did think I heard a snap or two in the middle of the night- I might be a bit paranoid though...).

2 down...how many can their be (the thought of that terrifies me)....

Maybe I can get rid of the mice just before tick season starts again...

(glass half full, glass half full)....

The chupone (spanish for "binky")

Baby Babble.. listen for the "I know I know I know"

A bit of history.. Ear Tubes Round #1

For my new readers.. Here is a link to our adventure last March, when Ben had his first round of ear tubes put in.

Ear Tubes Round #1

They are supposed to stay in for about a year to 18 months. Ben's were out after 4 months. The ENT did warn me that since this happened once, it is very likely that it could happen again.. but hopefully this round will get us through this year's cold and flu season and maybe by next year he will have outgrown the ear infection thang...

I like "lellow" too, Baby

While we were waiting for the surgical coordinator at Ben's ENT appointment today, he was all set up in the waiting room with an elmo toy across his lap. he was jabbering away and pointing at the various buttons and switches (all that didn't work because the batteries had long since been depleted). Our conversation went something like this:

Ben points to red button
Me: "that's red"
Ben: "re"
Me: "yep.. red"
Ben points to green button
Me: "that's green"
Ben: "yeah.."
Me: "yep.. green"

Then Ben turns and looks at me with those big blue eyes and his curly red hair was all crazy half from bed-hair and half from his winter hat and he says to me:

"Mommy, I like lellow"

Clear as day.

The woman sitting across the room smiled politely and commented about how cute he was. I was still trying to not cry over the fact that he just told me that he likes lellow. Then the woman says, "How old is he." I respond, "just turned two." Then she asks, "When did he start talking?" I respond, "this past weekend."

She nosed her Dunkin' Donuts Coffee. I laughed and said "I'm serious.. before that he was saying "yeah", "no", "mama" and "all done".. now all of a sudden he's talking in sentences!"

She laughed and said "Thank god.. there is hope for my son.. he's almost two and just screams "no" and "all done". Yep... been there.

Then.. just to show her that a child doesn't change completely over a weekend, Ben grabs my arm to get my attention and says "lellow!" and then proceeds to throw a total fit over the fact that the elmo toy has no lellow buttons.

I'm going to write to the folks at Seseme Street.. how could they skip lellow?

Ubbi Dubbi - and an ear tube update

Frubom nubow ubon, Ubi'll bube bluboggubing ubin Ububbubi Dububbubi. Ubif yubou nubeed hubelp, gubo tubo thube trubanslubatubor wubeb subite ubon pbskubids.uborg

Buben wubill bube guboubing ubin fubor suburguberuby ubon hubis ubears nubext Thubursdubay (15th) tubo gubet tububes ubin buboth ubears fubor thube subecubond tubime. Subince hubis lubast UBER vubisubit, hube hubas hubad twubo ubear ubinfubectiubons uband stubandubing flubuid ubin buboth ubears. Tubo mubake ubit ubevuben mubore ubinterubestubing, hubis ubeye rubollubing ubepubisubodes hubave stubartubed ubagubain ubas wubell. uburgh.


Translation:
From now on, I'll be blogging in Ubbi Dubbi. If you need help, go to the translator web site on pbskids.org

Ben will be going in for surgery on his ears next Thursday (15th) to get tubes in both ears for the second time. Since his last ER visit, he has had two ear infections and standing fluid in both ears. To make it even more interesting, his eye rolling episodes have started again as well. urgh.


Ok.. I'll stop with the Ubbi Dubbi stuff.. but honest.. now that I found the translator.. I may write my letters at work with it...

Ben is doing just fine and I'll be happy when next Thursday gets here. He is a little ticking time bomb waiting for another double ear infection to blow up. His ENT is awesome thought and he was a big guy and sat on the exam chair (like an eye doctors chair) all by himself and let her look in his ears and nose and mouth. When she was listening to his chest, through his shirt.. he reached down and pulled his shirt up for her. The only down side is that she said that they may decide to put an IV in this time (they just did gas last time) since he has continued to have seizures (he had 2 before his last surgery.. has had 5 now).. they want to be sure to be able to get meds to him immediately if he seizes while under anesthesia. I don't blame them.. but it sure would be nice if they could give him some gas and then put in the IV. Poor little dude.

New Years updates...

Well.. while it may not seem like it, I HAVE been up to things other than updating the colors on my blog and playing Guitar Hero World Tour. I *HAVE* been a bit of a space cadet though.. so I haven't really been sharing many blog bonding moments with you all.

First of all.. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dan! We had a great time spending Christmas Eve and morning with you guys and hope we can do it again sometime. Maybe someday, we'll actually have a room for you and you won't have to camp out in the back yard!

Other stuff.. Benji has spent most of the holiday break from school either being sick with an ear infection (flared up on Christmas Day) or with a rogue virus or two. He also is on a sleep strike. I'm sure that it's because our daytime schedule is out of wack with him not having been to school for two weeks. I totally feel for his daycare providers next week.. he's going to be a bear! The good news is that his development seems to have made a huge jump.. maybe it was all the birthday cake!

He's saying all sorts of words now (like "stupid", "hola", "ru" (Ruth), "Mommy" (instead of just MaMa), "I eat it", "no nemo", "nemo no", "no nemo no", "nemo no nemo" (catching a trend?) and lots of "ohhh noooooo's".. very dramatic.

I'm doing well.. no major complaints. I've decided to go back to work full time. It is a tough pill to swallow, but given the economy and the fact that things were already really tight.. well.. I want to keep ahead of the gang. This coming Monday will be my first time back in about six months.. I should be one cranky mom on Sunday.. watch out!

The other mom is doing well.. she's tired. Two weeks of vacation will do that to you.

Oh well.. I had planned on sharing a few pics from my fancy dancy new camera, but I didn't bring the cable and my card reader can't handle the high capacity card.. doh.. so I'll have to do that later. I also have more things to finish with the blog layout (there's a surprise).. given that my home computers are crap, i may pull an all nighter with some system install and norton disks.. fun fun fun! That's how I roll...

Ok... flowers are out of here.. but...

I have to save this horrible decision for future laughs... here is a screen shot of my pretty flowers...

Holy crap.. what was I thinking?

Jesus.. what's with all the flowers and the pink? Holy crap??

My meds must have been off on New Years Eve or something when I changed my background for the blog because holy mary mother of god.. the current layout is SO NOT ME.

I totally agree with Giovanna on this one.. Blog Background Identity Crisis (BBIC).. I'm going to see if there are any support groups out there.

What the hell was I thinking?