some mornings are better than others... i just put yogurt into ben's tippy cup. crap.

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Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

Check out my first blog posting over at Skirt!

I thought I'd jump right in.. *laff* I'm determined to make waves over there! This is what they get for labeling ME a trendsetter!

Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

This definitely qualifies as TMI:

Let me set the stage.

I am Italian and Irish. All of my hair follicles are Italian and all of my skin cells are Irish. I also have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which causes lots of fun hormonal crap like infertility, weight gain and.. yes.. male-pattern hair growth. As a result, I have spent all of my adult life struggling with the topic of hair removal and self-esteem.

When I was younger, I was very self-conscious about my image. How gross was it that I could grow more facial hair than most 18 year old boys. I would take hour-long showers which would include shaving just about every inch of my body.

To complicate matters further, I have just about THE MOST sensitive skin out there. If I walk down a perfume aisle, my skin will break out in a rash (and I’ll have an asthma attack). I can only use certain soaps and one wrong move in the shaving department would leave me with little cute patterns of razor burn all over my body.

Tack on the weight gain associated with PCOS and I had a rough time during my teenage years!

Fast-forward. I’m now 34 years old and happily married. I have a 2 year old beautiful son. I am completely content with my follicular status. The solution? The product that saved my self esteem?

Hate to burst your bubble, ladies, but for me.. it was just a matter of growing up and becoming comfortable with myself. No magical cream or little gadget that painlessly removed all of the hair forever.

Now.. that said, just because I’m comfortable with myself doesn’t mean I still don’t try every product and procedure under the sun. I’ve tried every chemical ever labeled for sensitive skin hair removal (translation: it removes the skin and leaves the hair) and have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on needles and lasers and weed-wackers, oh my!

So.. as the self-proclaimed expert on the subject.. do I still spend an hour a day in the shower? Heck no! I have a toddler.. I’m lucky if I snag 10 minutes to myself. I usually have the shower curtain thrown back about 7 minutes into it by a little red headed dude who hands me my glasses and says “mommy, all done”.

To be honest, I seem to have become a bit bi-polar when it comes to hair removal. It’s currently mid-winter and we’re broke. As a result, I haven’t shaved south of the equator for close to three months and I’m starting to resemble something off of the Discovery Channel. I really could care less, aside from the fact that my hair is so thick that it occasionally makes my skin hurt from rubbing against my pants. Also.. I don’t wear skirts.. that’s key.

Like I said though.. I tend to go through mood swings. When I’m not on shaving strike, I tend to go to extremes.

wax.jpg



I’ve become a huge fan of waxing. It feels strikingly like sticking your arm in a wood chipper, but the results are fantastic. It’s also great for releasing tension after a long week at work. I’m not sure what it says about your life when going in for a waxing session sounds relaxing. I’ll blog about that another time!

Now. Leg waxing isn’t a big deal. Ripping out hair in huge chunks is never pleasant, but after the first few strips, you start to lose consciousness and it doesn’t seem to hurt as badly. There are a few areas that really hurt. For me, it’s the front of my calves and the backs of my ankles and from the knee up.

Oh, I’m just kidding.. go try it, you’ll love it. No.. seriously. It’s horrible.. but I do have some advice. Don’t go cheap. DO NOT DO IT YOURSELF. I don’t care how simple and painless those TV infomercials make it look.. spring for a trip to the spa.. and not just a trip to the spa.. a trip to an EXPENSIVE spa. I’ve tried it both ways and the experience at a real spa can not compare to having a cheap wax job done by a hair dresser with a wax melter who knows how to use it. If you go cheap, prepare to wear long slacks for at least two weeks while your legs heal from all of the bruises and ingrown hairs that you’ll get... you’ll be able to put those shorts on just in time for your leg hair to start growing back! Think “She-she-poo-poo”...

Ok.. now, I think the reason why I downplay the amount of pain caused by a full leg wax is because I’ve also started getting bikini waxes. Not just regular bikini waxes, but Brazilian bikini waxes. Those Brazilians sure are wacky! I’m not sure of the history of it all or why those folks from south of the equator get the credit for the ultimate hair removal for “south of the border”.. but it’s like the Mount Everest of hair removal. It may kill you.. but it’s the best thing ever.

Once again.. if you’re going to attempt this.. remember my words about the expensive spa. No trying to do this at home kiddos. If you’re worried about the embarrassment factor.. well.. think of it like sky-diving.. once you take the plunge.. it’s all out there and you’re in a free fall and there is no going back.

The good news is that, once you’re off the IV fluids and morphine drip, you’ll feel like a million bucks. Even if you’re the only one who knows about it (aside from your new best friend at the spa), guaranteed you’ll feel like hot stuff..

- Jen (Two Moms and a Baby)

The chupone (spanish for "binky")

Baby Babble.. listen for the "I know I know I know"

A bit of history.. Ear Tubes Round #1

For my new readers.. Here is a link to our adventure last March, when Ben had his first round of ear tubes put in.

Ear Tubes Round #1

They are supposed to stay in for about a year to 18 months. Ben's were out after 4 months. The ENT did warn me that since this happened once, it is very likely that it could happen again.. but hopefully this round will get us through this year's cold and flu season and maybe by next year he will have outgrown the ear infection thang...

I like "lellow" too, Baby

While we were waiting for the surgical coordinator at Ben's ENT appointment today, he was all set up in the waiting room with an elmo toy across his lap. he was jabbering away and pointing at the various buttons and switches (all that didn't work because the batteries had long since been depleted). Our conversation went something like this:

Ben points to red button
Me: "that's red"
Ben: "re"
Me: "yep.. red"
Ben points to green button
Me: "that's green"
Ben: "yeah.."
Me: "yep.. green"

Then Ben turns and looks at me with those big blue eyes and his curly red hair was all crazy half from bed-hair and half from his winter hat and he says to me:

"Mommy, I like lellow"

Clear as day.

The woman sitting across the room smiled politely and commented about how cute he was. I was still trying to not cry over the fact that he just told me that he likes lellow. Then the woman says, "How old is he." I respond, "just turned two." Then she asks, "When did he start talking?" I respond, "this past weekend."

She nosed her Dunkin' Donuts Coffee. I laughed and said "I'm serious.. before that he was saying "yeah", "no", "mama" and "all done".. now all of a sudden he's talking in sentences!"

She laughed and said "Thank god.. there is hope for my son.. he's almost two and just screams "no" and "all done". Yep... been there.

Then.. just to show her that a child doesn't change completely over a weekend, Ben grabs my arm to get my attention and says "lellow!" and then proceeds to throw a total fit over the fact that the elmo toy has no lellow buttons.

I'm going to write to the folks at Seseme Street.. how could they skip lellow?

Ryan Seacrest watch out....

Ben has stolen your hairstyle... Benjamin got his very first "fauxhawk" today. Basically it's just buzzed short on the sides and a bit longer on top so you can spike it up a bit.. i'm in the process of uploading some pics. without the hair gel, it looks like a normal short haircut.. but he's still too cute for words!

While I'm waiting for the photos to upload.. I'll give a general update on the big guy. He went in for his 15 month well visit today (he turns 16 mos tomorrow). Unfortunately he needed two shots. Other than that, everything went great. He's 26lbs 12oz and is 33 inches tall.. that makes him in the 68th percentile for weight and 88th for height. All of his parts checked out fine and the doctor noted that his vocabulary was very advanced for his age (they count the english, spanish and signing) and his fine and gross motor skills are right on. Ben performed like a champ and did a great job, even with the shots, even thought it was his naptime.

We had a nice talk with the doctor about autism. We've had the panic in the back of our heads like most parents of boys these days that have any clue of the statistics. Given the seizures and what I had been concerned about with his progress of development (when he walked/crawled/etc.).. we had both entertained the "what if" thoughts. Our doctor, who rocks by the way, was amazing and assured us that not only is ben definitely NOT autistic now, but he's not showing any symptoms of being at risk for autism in the future.

We also talked more about the seizures and are both fairly comfortable with the concept that he will likely have more seizures until he grows out of this childhood seizure "disorder". *cross fingers* that he will not have any more "complex" seizures like his first one (that lasted an hour)... but we're pretty confident that we can deal with (emotionally) the short duration "typical" seizures.

here we go:

Gay Parenting

Wait.. what... we're gay? you're friggin kidding!

I got an interesting random message from a reader who commented that he/she was surprised that my blog wasn't more about gay parenting. It struck me as highly interesting and a bit funny and probably says a LOT about who I am and what our family dynamic is.

I don't think of myself as a gay parent. I think of myself as a parent. I don't think of my wife as a gay parent, or as a "second mother".. I think of her as a parent. We're both mom's. We both love Benjamin equally or would be willing to arm wrestle over the issue. We are both legal parents.. but that's really just a formality. We were together in this from the start.. we were both there during conception (along with a very nice doctor with a HUGE mustache).. were both there through the pregnancy.. were both there through the rocky end of the pregnancy and the birth of our little guy. If anything, I think Shiela has had to deal with more stress from the experience of trying to become, becoming, and being a parent because she's had to deal with me too... and i'm a handful. Dealing with a woman duped up on fertility meds comes in neck to neck with dealing with a cranky pregnant woman.. and was one-up'd by caring for an infant and a mother with post partum depression.

We're parents. We forget that we're "gay". We are lucky in that we live in an area of the country where no one gets confused by the fact that we're both his mom and no one does double-takes when they hear us refer to each other as his moms or if they see us out doing crazy things like having dinner together at a family restaurant.

My blog isn't about being a gay parent.. because in all honesty.. there really isn't anything to talk about. The rollercoaster leading up to becoming a parent has some elements in it that obviously relate to us being in a same-sex relationship.. but since conception, the topic doesn't really come up.

If you have any questions about it.. shoot away (but be nice of course).. but it really doesn't make the top twelve things that define our family unit... so I can't guarantee an interesting answer.

As an aside.. all of that doesn't mean that we hide that we're gay or anything like that. we're out and proud man.. we both own leathermans and have a sears bright red toolbox will all of the accessories. we own our own softball mitts and know how to use them.

to quote my friend's kids.. "that's baby's mom".. "that's baby's other mom"..

Edited to add: I do admit that it is a bit ironic given that the title of the blog is "two moms and a baby".. so no comments from the peanut gallery!

Added pictures to Sunday's post about painting...

Normal hearing... check! Cool-ass earplugs... check!

Yesterday we brought Ben in for his post-op appointment with his ENT to check on his brand spankin new ear tubes and an appointment with his audiologist to check on his hearing. The last time we had his hearing checked (several months ago).. he was coming in with reading of about 20 dB down (the equivalent of sounds being 4 times quieter than someone with "normal" hearing). On the day of his surgery, his ENT guesstimated that he had probably been functioning with a 30 dB hearing loss given that the fluid in his ear had started to solidify. *gag*

SOoooooooooooooooo.... Ben was a champ and cooperated with the entire hearing test and even heard some sounds that *I* didn't pick up on. They can only get so detailed at this stage in his life.. when he's a bit older he'll have a more comprehensive test to determine his response over various frequencies where he'll wear headphones and will need to be able to communicate with the audiologist.. but at this stage their test is whether or not they hear a sound and turn toward it. He passed with flying colors.

Then we went in to see Dr Gallivan, who was the ENT who put his tubes in a few weeks ago. She checked them out and was very pleased to see that his eardrums have healed well around the tubes and that everything looks nice and clean and open. They also did a pressure test to double-check that the tubes were completely open and that came back fine as well. Ben was a trooper.. he hates things being stuck in his ears, but he has a pretty high tolerance for it given how much he has to deal with over the last year.

We also discussed the neuro issues that he's had (the seizure and the tics). While they can't say difinitively that the ear infections were the root cause (i love neurology.. they can NEVER say anything difinitively..).. the fact that his tics went from occurring 20-30 times per day to maybe once over every few days seems to say a lot. Our ENT agreed. His eye-rolling episodes have stopped it seems, but he still has a shiver that is not quite a shiver that we pick up on every so often. His neurologist does not think that this is pre-seizure activity and his ENT agrees with this and thinks that the cause could actually be a crack in his mastoid cavity due to the chronic severe ear infections. The picture below shows a cross section of the human ear. The spongy-looking bone around the ear canal and middle ear is the Mastoid Cavity.. it's basically bone with lots of air pockets and it separates the brain from the ear cavities. If there is a crack there, then pressure and/or infection could have triggered the problems that he had and this is something that would heal itself now that the middle ear pressure is taken care of. We hope that the tic will resolve itself as well. It's nothing that most people would notice anyway and it doesn't slow him down at all.



SOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo....

All medical jargon aside.. given that they want to be VERY careful about germies getting into ben's middle ear.. we had him fitted for custom molded ear plugs. He doesn't need to wear them in the bath at home, but he should wear them when swimming in public places, especially if it's a lake (which is key since we have a reservoir right down the street from us that we'll be frequenting this summer).

We have a few weeks to "test" the fit of the plugs to be sure that water can't creap in.. so we tried them out last night when he took his bath. Here are some pictures.. How cool is he!

Sunday afternoon fun...

Yesterday Ben and I took extended morning naps.. and while we were sleeping Shiela started some painting for his room. When he woke up he was pretty much a bear for a good chunk of the day until we got some Motrin into him (Teething Hell.. totally different topic).. then he wanted to paint too. So paint he did.

Edited 4/9: Pictures finally added!















Edited (4/10) to add: Yes.. Ben is wearing a t-shirt that says "Phat Boyz" on the front. I intentionally purchased two oversized t-shirts for like $0.50 each at the mother of twins sale for "art time".. so I wasn't very picky about what was on the front of them.

He "sorta" gets it...

March for Babies

Ok.. it's time for my annual plea for donations to support our family's walk for the March of Dimes. This year it is called "March for Babies" instead of "Walk America" -- but it is the same event as what we participated in last year when Benjamin was 4 months old.

Here is a picture from that day:


Here is a picture of Ben just hours after he was born:


Looking over even a few recent posts on this blog will show you how far we've come in 15 months. Ben is walking, he understands spanish and english, he is able to use sign language, he can throw hot wheels cars at the cats (and hit his mark!).. he's a typical and healthy 15 month old (don't read too much of my blog though.. because you'll hear about a few of his health blips.. but to date, they have been minor and are hopefully completely under control.. *cross fingers*)

Disclaimer: The following video is touching and pretty much sums up all of the thoughts and fears that a family who deals with a premature birth encounters.. but it IS difficult to watch.


The two following video clips are public service announcements from the March of Dimes and are funny.



For those of you who are unaware of this, the March of Dimes originated as a foundation supporting the search for Polio vaccine. Ben's grandmother, or Jaaym - as we call her, had polio as a child and received first-hand the benefits of donations made to the March of Dimes. Here is a clip that shows a bit of history.


Again.. Please support us in our walk on April 27, 2008. We were lucky.. our son was born healthy and our family is blessed. So many families have to deal with so much more treatment and in too many cases, loss. We raised close to $1,000 last year and I hope to double that this year.

Click Here to Donate

Salsa, Margueritas and Mariachi, oh MY!

Last night we went out with a friend and her twins to "Mariachi Night" at our local family-run Mexican restaurant.. we had a blast. The kids all loved the band.. especially Maddie, who clapped and asked for more music after each song. Benjamin refused to eat his dinner, but was ok with snagging Riley's avacado slice and some of his leftover cheese quesadilla. Luckily Riley was more interested in eating tortilla chips and eventually putting the basket on his head. Maddie was the little princess.. daintily dipping her tortilla chips into the salsa.. that kid can certainly pack away the salsa.. and I don't think she got a drop on her. Riley managed to pour a half of a bowl of salsa on his lap, but that was relatively well timed as I was just walking by him to go "borrow" a diaper from the twin's supply because Benjamin figured that it was an appropriate time to fill his pants.

In the end.. I think we all managed to eat our dinner (except for Ben) and as the clock struck 6:45pm.. it was enjoyable to watch all three kids lose their minds at the same time. Actually.. the gradual decline of Maddie and Riley was only really visable to their mom.. they hadn't started screaming or throwing things... unlike our little redheaded ball of fury. Seconds after the twins left (with mom, of course).. Ben and I headed out to the parking lot to offer some relief to the other patrons. Shiela stuck around to wait for our payment to go through and we headed home.

It was a great evening. It's so nice being out with someone with kids that are the same age as Ben.. especially when going to a restaurant that was filled with other kids that are all just like Ben. It seemed that everyone got a chance to pick up a toy that was chucked from another family's child across the aisle and smile politely while handing it back just to have their own child chuck something toward another family. Some may call it chaos.. we call it a relaxing Mariachi night!

Kentucky -- The most important part

Ben and I traveled to Kentucky for the first time ever (for both of us). The best part? We got to see Grandma and Grandpa...





We also got to explore their brand new house. They just closed on it last week and had all of their furniture from CT dropped off later in the week with us arriving on Saturday. Just about everything that we didn't need was still in boxes, so we didn't need to worry about Ben getting into things that he shouldn't. Grandpa did go out and purchase 30 electrical outlet covers to protect Ben from getting zapped in the main rooms. We closed off the bedroom, bathroom, etc, etc, doors so that he was left with being able to circle around from the great room down the hall to the dining room and through the kitchen and breakfast nook back into the great room. If he only knew that there was about 2000 more square feet of space available not counting the basement.. we would have been in trouble.. if he could open doors that is.

He explored...







We made ourselves at home...






The thing that surprised me the most was that even though 177 Blossom Circle in Kentucky is about as different from 221 North Street in Connecticut as it gets (aside from the horse pasture thing..).. being "home" didn't feel any different. It was all new, but it still felt like coming home. That makes me happy.

Goofy Gus

Once a goofball...


Always a goofball...


I have to say that while being a parent has got to be the most exhausting and sometimes exasperating experiences known to man (and we're just on month #15).. it's a friggin blast. We often comment on how wonderful it must be to "have a new brain".. everything is new to Ben.. at least the first time around. I can say that changing his clothes and diapers is NOT something new.. and he KNOWS that he needs to stay still. Obviously, we're still working on this...