Cookie

David Cook won. This may be the first time that my true favorite of the competition from the beginning has actually made it all the way to #1. If you don't know what I'm talking about.. then you probably didn't spend 2 evenings a week since January glued to the television.

So ok.. here's the scoop. I'm on my last 32 hours of being 33 years old. There are so many aspects of my life that I think are rocking out.. I love my wife, I love my son, they both love me (that's a perk), my cats are healthy, the frog and snail survived last weekend (you'll have to scroll back in my blogs for that reference), I have become the sort of person that someone might turn to for advice (holy crap.. hopefully they won't listen).. things are good.

Today I'm a bit sad. I'm not exactly sure why. I learned lots of neet tricks when I was in the loony bin during my PPD days.. but really don't give a hoot about all that psycho-mumbo-jumbo. I just want to be sad. Part of that is psycho-mumbo jumbo.. because I did learn that part of being healthy emotionally is to be able to self-assess your emotions (i.e. i'm sad) and then being able to just accept that and not be in judgement (i.e. i'm sad.. so what.. it doesn't mean i'm failing at anything or doing anything wrong.. i'm just having a sad moment). If I were inclined.. i might try to figure out why I'm sad. That takes energy though and based on past history.. i've found that when I try to figure out why something feels the way it does.. or what is causing a certain feeling.. it isn't until like my third or fourth guess when I find the real answer.

clear as mud?

Anyway.. I could make a list. My therapist loves that kind of stuff.

let's see..

-i've got 32 hours until I turn 34.
-this is my first birthday since my parents moved to KY (the state, not the lubricant). i wouldn't think this would bug me because it's not the first time i haven't spent my birthday with them.. but who knows.
-i miss my bed. my mother in law is here (hi jaaym!) and shiela and i are camping out in Ben's room.. this is ok.. i enjoy hearing ben breathe/snore.. but i miss sleeping next to my wife. and i miss my bed.
-i'm agoraphobic.. and while i've learned to "accept and not judge" blah blah.. it still causes panic. i have to go to NYC next week for work which will involve lots of planning, organization, energy, and people. all things i don't excel at.. at least when it comes to throwing myself into a population center of the country that far exceeds the reasonable capacity for one little island off the coast of New York.
-i heard from an ex this week and don't have a clue what to think about that. i'm surprised by my lack of giving a hoot about the old baggage.. i usually hold onto grudges pretty tightly.. but this time i really just don't care.
-hearing from that one ex has me thinking about another ex, who i'd rather hear from occationally, but seldom do.. oh well.. "being friends" is for the birds.
-i have been horrible this week with my diet.. i'm sure my hormones are out of wack as a result of that.

urgh.

ok.. on a better note.. my friggin birthday is in 2 days.. par-tay! I remember birthdays being tough.. me thinking "well.. check.. now i'm 30.. i still am infertile".. no more of that crap! now i can share them with my wife and son and our friends and i'm lucky in that my sister is coming up to visit too.. add in some cake and we're good to go!

last night.. idol. we had a bash over at Snickollet's.. I finally met Gio and her now famous beverage recipe and also met Jillian, who didn't know who I was from a hole in the wall but now knows more than she ever wanted to (due to Giovanna's famous beverage). We partied like it was 1999 and were all psyched when David C won.. we were also psyched to see his commercial for Guitar Hero. The man can do no wrong!

tonight? i'm planning to lay low.. i want to hug my boy.. hug my wife.. hug my cats.. hug my MIL.. hug the frog and snail (but i won't because they are barely alive).. and eat a salad or something that won't impact my blood sugars.. *laff* (unlike Gio's famous beverage).

that's it from me for the day.. no pics or anything.. hopefully i'll be more interesting tomorrow!