I'm almost 40, a mom, married to the love of my life, extremely happy (i.e. gay), a musician at heart with rusty chops, a geek, a superhero to my son and our two cats. I know where I belong; I'm the luckiest.
7/29/2008
Who said Ben's too young for a drum set?
So much to blog..
Shiela and I were working on this routine over the weekend and have it ALMOST down.. I'll video tape it and post it when we get it PERFECT. FYI.. we will NOT be wearing little speedos.. instead, like true dancers.. we'll wear flannel shirts and sweatpants.. trust me.. it will be JUST as inspiring.
Shouldn't I be doing something more productive?
7/25/2008
Dude.. your girlfriend keeps checking me out...
a hacker..
a "gearhead"..
a builder..
Life with Benjamin definitely stays interesting. I can't say that there is ever a lull in the activity around the house when he's up and at 'em. He is interested in EVERYTHING. I have to get a photo of him playing Shiela's piano up here.. he will sit for the longest time gently playing and fidgeting with the settings.
He has a bit of a temper..
But he usually swings right from a scream into a deep chuckle. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.. *laff* The good news is that even when he's upset/frustrated/etc... he has a sense of humor that can pull a smile out of a knock on the noggin.
He LOVES Thomas the Tank Engine and is on a current kick of wanting to sit on our laps while we play Guitar Hero.. He will go get the guitar for us.. and the remote.. and then reach up to us because he wants in on the action. He will sit through several songs and will help us by pressing the orange button that seems to keep eluding us. (long story)
He has decided that he likes sleeping in our bed, which is new. He hadn't slept in our bed since he was an infant, and even then it was only for naps if we were right there. He slept between us when we'd visit my sister's house down in CT.. but even that stopped. He likes his crib. I have to say that he's the easiest kid I've ever witnessed at bedtime.. he just turns on his belly and "drives" a car or motorcycle back and forth a few times before putting his arms down and falling asleep. Last night and the night before.. he woke up several times during the night. This isn't the norm. Two nights ago, I brought him into our bed so he could drink some milk and we fell asleep before I brought him back. Shiela woke up and moved him back to his crib only to be woken up about 15 minutes later to a screaming baby. He came back in and spent the rest of the night snuggling between his moms. Well.. we knew we were in trouble. Last night the same thing happened. This morning.. he was WAY too comfortable. He woke up while Shiela was sitting next to him watching the TV on mute and rolled over so he could see the TV and chuckled. Lord help us.
We know what we're "supposed" to do.. but both of us are also of the opinion that if he needs to snuggle, then that's what he needs. I remember climbing into my mom's bed in the middle of the night quite often as a kid. Shiela wasn't allowed (I don't think) to sleep in her parents bed when she was scared and I think that might lend to why we still sleep with a light on. I just don't see the harm in it. Oh.. aside from the bruises that we both wake up with after being kicked a few dozen times and, like the first night.. having to wake each other up to move him because we're hanging off of our side of the bed. How one 26 pound child can take up a queen sized bed all by himself is beyond me. Oh wait.. he doesn't.. it's him and the two 15 pound cats! Shiela and I are going to start sleeping in his crib.. we'll have more room.
SYTYCD
In other news.. I find it HYSTERICAL that some people are so clearly clueless about how the internet works. If you're going to surf blogs.. great.. if you're going to stalk blogs.. more power to ya.. but if you're going to post a negative comment.. you should be aware that it is VERY easy and quite common for a site admin to review LOTS of information about each and every one of the site's visitors. Not to skeeve ya out.. But I can tell lots of information about where you're from, what type of operating system you're using, what IP address and ISP you're using, how often you check the site, what your bank account number is (ok.. so that one is a stretch.. I'd have to do some hacking to figure that part out.. but given the volumes of info that I CAN track on you just for a click to my blog.. I could probably figure that out too..) So the moral of the story here is: If you are going to post a negative "anonymous" comment to my blog..don't use your home computer.. especially if you've established a history of visiting my blog. I pity-da-fool! I don't keep track of my visitor history above and beyond just checking my daily hit count (how many people visited my sit in a day).. and I'm aware that as this number grows.. a public blog is just that.. public. I just wanted to remind my readers that "anonymous" really isn't all that "anonymous" in todays internet world. Run in fear and delete your cookies, cookie-monster!
7/18/2008
Crazy
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy?
About 15 minutes ago I got a "friend" request from a girl who I met when I was hospitalized at McLean Hospital back in March of 2007. I was hospitalized after tripping over a rock (i.e. Post Partum Depression). There is a movie with Wynonna Ryder and Angelina Jolie called Girl Interupted -- it was based on a book that was written about one woman's experience at McLean. I still really can't watch that movie.. even though it isn't even remotely like my experience there (i was an outpatient.. i did my real "time" over at Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital, where I was locked up prior to my stay at McLean.. but that's another story.) Anyway.. when I met S.. I had just learned that the movie, Girl Interupted, was based on a McLean thing. She immediately reminded me of Angelina Jolie's character. I was fascinated and interested in this person.. someone who was a LOT younger than me but who I think has had more "life experience" than I have.. for whatever that's worth. We hung out a bit while I was there.. passed notes during group therapy.. classic stuff. I felt like I was hanging out with "the cool kids". Wait.. I was in a mental hospital. It doesn't jive. Regardless.. she made an impression and I have wished the best for her and have often been curious about where she wound up.. how she was doing.. whether life had started moving in a safer direction for her. Facebook is a crazy thing.
Mamom's day with the kid...

She and Ben are at "the res" (local reservoir).. they sounded like they were having a blast when I last spoke with them.. Ben was "swimming" (i.e. floating around on his belly and trying to drink the entire lake). Mom-days with Ben are the best.
Meanwhile I'm slaving away and didn't even know who got voted off of SYTYCD until just minutes ago when Snickollet reminded me.. sheesh! I have to get my priorities in order!
No more tubes for Benji
Both tubes are currently still stuck in his ear canal and the doctor didn't want to put Ben through the discomfort of going after them (that area of the ear canal is very sensitive). They will fall out by themselves at some point.
7/17/2008
Other people's news...
Almost as inspiring is this performance of Piano Man by a 7 year old at a talent show. His parents must be so proud! I LOVE his accent! What a cutie.
And I'm sure most of you have seen this little one before.. no words can describe how perfect her little voice is. Again.. proud parents!
7/16/2008
Bye bye ear tubes...
yep.. that was my train of thought crashing into the station on the island of sodor (thomas "fans" will get the reference)..
we brought the big guy in to the pedi last night after work and found out that both of his ear tubes have popped out. they are meant to pop out on their own.. but usually they will hold for between 6 mos and 2 years. the pedi on call asked how long he had his in and for some reason i rattled off "9 mos". I have no clue where that came from.. he's had them in for almost exactly 4 months. they were both in at his 18 month checkup, less than a month ago.
the good news is that he doesn't have an ear infection. he's probably digging at his ears because the tubes are still in the canals right near his ear drum, which is sensitive (not sure why they can't go in with tweezers and pull them out). she suggested having him do the back float in the tub to get some water in his ears which may help flush them out. his temp/crankiness is most likely a virus that has been going around.. but the good news is that he looks like he's nearing the end of it and we got through the low grade temps with no seizures.. another good sign. the longer he goes without a seizure at this point, the greater the chance that he's out grown them. *cross fingers*
the pedi on call's take was that it would probably be best to just leave him and watch to see how he does without the tubes and whether the infections start up again. that's fine by me, but i want to get the official word from his ENT. ironically, we have an appointment with his audiologist on friday to get new ear plugs (he out grew the old ones).. so now we probably don't need those, but need someone to confirm that and to confirm that the perforations have healed (which is what the pedi said looked like had happened..which is good). We have to watch out for infections given that he has (or hopefully had) a crack in the bone that separates his middle ear from his brain, which they think was causing his neuro issues. god.. that feels like years ago.. i guess that's why i said 9 months..
anywho.. he's doing fine today and slept through the night last night (of course.. as soon as you go to the doc to be told "it's a virus".. they suddenly get better).. this morning both shiela and i took him to school and while he cried at first, it was very interesting and moving to watch his daycare provider calm him down. she had him in his high chair for breakfast and he was screaming and she knelt down and started talking to him in a sing-songy voice while stroking his chin. he did the cutest thing. he quieted down and made a few cute faces and squinted his eyes a few times and calmed right down. shiela and i ducked out of the room while he had his eyes closed and was listening to her. two seconds later as we were signing him in, he was laughing.
7/09/2008
Red Sox... I think they won.
Cost of parking at train station - $5
Cost of subway fare to and from Fenway Park for one adult - $4
Cost of two Fenway Franks - $7.25
Cost of two Diet Cokes - $7.25
Cost of one tiny bottle of water - $4.25
Cost of personal cheese pizza - $6
Not too bad for a Tuesday night out for a family of three! Ben did great. We managed to sit through about 5 innings.. which isn't too shabby for a night game. We opted to take off mid-game after Ben had thrown his binky about 12 times, had more than a full hot dog by himself and more than half a pizza by himself on top of half of a bottle of diet coke (which he isn't usually allowed to have.. sorta like pizza and hot dogs.. but it was Fenway man.. ya gotta break the rules sometimes!!). He exchanged high-fives and "knuckles" with the slightly inebriated college-aged men who were sitting in front of us and cheered loudly while clapping excitedly when the crowd went nuts.
One of these days we'll be able to last until they sing Sweet Caroline.. but in the meantime, we're more than happy to take any unused tickets off of our friends/coworkers hands in exchange for a fairly cheap night out with Red Sox Nation!
Geez.. you guys want NEW stories?
(btw.. thanks Barb, for teaching me that phrase... I often nose a variety of drinks while re-reading my own blog!)
7/07/2008
A good monday?
Today was the first day of my new schedule at work. I was home today with Ben and will be working Tuesday through Friday for my normal hours. Today has been great. Ben is currently playing with his home depot tools, so I have a few minutes to share our day with you all.
This morning started off pretty low key and laid back. Ben woke up at 8:30. We both got up and had breakfast and played for a bit. We then picked up the toys and I put Sprout on while I went to do some dishes. Ben climbed onto the couch "by self" and watched a bit of Elmo before proceeding to pull out all of the toys that we had just put away. I finished up with the dishes and we played "climb under mommy" and "jump on top of mommy".. which was much more fun for the 18-month old, i think.... but I got a few good hugs out of the deal.. so no complaints here (but maybe a bruise or two!). We then picked up his toys again and had a quick snack before he trucked off to bed for his morning nap.
I logged onto the computer to do random things like update my Facebook status and check my email. Then it was off to drink a glass of Diet Coke and watch the second half of Maury after bringing out the trash. By the time Maury ended, Ben was starting to wake back up.
We had lunch and then headed out to do some errands and to visit Mamom at work. After that, we hit not one.. not two.. but THREE parks in Belmont. The first one sucked.. everything was in the sun and the slides were HOT.. i quickly learned why it was so quiet there. We then headed to a park with some more shade but got pretty sweaty, so we packed up and headed over to another park that has a sprinkler setup. Ben had his first push-up pop. I was a bit of a loser-mom and forgot his crocs and his water shoes (i hadn't planned on going someplace with water).. so he went barefoot for a while until i was worrying too much about the heat of the areas that weren't wet.. so he was the poor little kid on the playground with the mother who made him wear a tshirt with his swim diaper AND sneakers into the water play area. Not only that.. but I had a spray bottle of sunblock that I kept chasing him down with. I think I actually did embarrass him.. or I just annoyed him after I sprayed it on his head for the 5th time because he sternly said "ma ma" while clapping his hands at me. and not in a good way.
At about 4:30, we headed back to the car.. Ben was asleep before Jill (the lady in my GPS) had the chance to link up with the satellites to tell me that I had missed my turn to head home... so we took the long way and Ben slept. He was sleeping so well that I was able to get home.. get him up to his room.. change him out of his swim stuff into dry clothes and still take a bit of a nap! yay!
It's now almost 7pm.. we've had a bath (well.. ben has.. i will have one after he goes to bed).. it took three washes to get all the sunblock out of his hair.. whoops! he's now playing in his little tent in the middle of the living room.. and I've had the time to update my blog. We're very mellow this evening.. my guess is because we had a long day playing! We miss mamom, who isn't home quite yet.. but we'll see her soon and then tomorrow night we get to go to a Red Sox game after work/school! yay!
and so ends my first day as a "stay at home mom".. tomorrow I morph back into a "working mom" but I get the chance to do this all over again next week.
6/30/2008
Clown car
My mom is up from Kentucky for a month-ish and is spending her first week up here in MA helping us out by watching Ben during the day. His daycare is closed this week and both Shiela and I are out of vacation and personal time because of all the time we took off early this year with his medical issues. Anywho.. along for the ride are my niece, Ashley (almost 14) and nephew, Adam (8). Adam and my mom are sleeping in Ben's room and Ashley is on an aerobed in the dining room. Whew! Everyone is in air-conditioning, so things are ok from a comfort standpoint!
Today the crew is down at the Arlington Reservoir swimming and playing. I'm jealous because I'd rather be outside playing too.. but I'm also relieved that things are going so smoothly at home. You'd think my mom had raised a kid or two in her past (and had a daycare for almost 20 years!).
I took this video last night. Adam was playing with my Wii Fit and Ben has started imitating.. they were having a blast. I'm pretty sure that my downstairs neighbors thought that the sky was falling or that we had a herd of elephants passing through our place.. but it was early in the evening.. so we just let them have fun.
This week will be a bit hectic as I have to wrap up a few things for a few different projects on top of it being a shortened week and my starting up my new schedule next week.. Today has been going pretty well though, so I'm hoping that the rest of the week will fall into place as well.
6/27/2008
we have had a "dinner" of a hot dog and slushie and are loitering in the theater lobby....
This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!
To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.
To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime� 6.5 or higher is required. Visit www.apple.com/quicktime/download to download the free player or upgrade your existing QuickTime� Player. Note: During the download process when asked to choose an installation type (Minimum, Recommended or Custom), select Minimum for faster download.
Full time Mommy; part time work..
I'm not going to break my "i don't talk about work" rule, so I'll be very general. If you want details.. you must email me! Anyway.. the bottom line is that my moral has been below ground for the last year+. I'd say that about 90% of the time the thought of changing careers or quitting and getting a job at Jiffy Lube or committing some white collar crime to get into the same prison that Martha Stewart made homemade jam at would be fun. (that was a long and incredibly grammatically incorrect sentence.) I feel like I spent my days wishing the time away so that I can be with my family again and then I'm so stressed and exhausted by the time I'm home with my family, I find myself wishing for it to be time for bed. This isn't healthy. I then feel guilty for never feeling like I can get enough time for my son or for my wife.
The weekends are this joyous oasis that I wait all week for... and without fail, I end up "ruining" my Sundays because i'm so stressed about going back to work on Monday. As a result, I really feel like I've been drowning and that's not in line with what I want for my life or how I logically feel about how things are.
I like what I do (for work).. There are other fields that interest me -- but I truly enjoy my current work and almost all of the people that I work with. I haven't enjoyed what I do (for work) for too long now.
SOoooooooooo... part time. It's a financial hit.. but Shiela and I agree that quality of life is more important than HBO and some of the other frills we've been indulging in (like gas for the car). The next 6 months will be tough financially and it means that we'll have to scale back on just about everything.
The goal? A happy Jen. A happy Jen makes for a happy Shiela and a happy son and two happy cats and 7 happy fish. A happy Jen makes for a Jen that wakes up looking forward to going to work again and doesn't resent the hell out of every piece of paper in my office and every client phone call because dammit-- it just seems like a stupid reason to be away from my son.
We'll see. If this results in an increase of stress, then I'll take my salary back and do my best to make it work.. but I'm hoping that it will be a turning point.



