Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

Check out my first blog posting over at Skirt!

I thought I'd jump right in.. *laff* I'm determined to make waves over there! This is what they get for labeling ME a trendsetter!

Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

This definitely qualifies as TMI:

Let me set the stage.

I am Italian and Irish. All of my hair follicles are Italian and all of my skin cells are Irish. I also have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which causes lots of fun hormonal crap like infertility, weight gain and.. yes.. male-pattern hair growth. As a result, I have spent all of my adult life struggling with the topic of hair removal and self-esteem.

When I was younger, I was very self-conscious about my image. How gross was it that I could grow more facial hair than most 18 year old boys. I would take hour-long showers which would include shaving just about every inch of my body.

To complicate matters further, I have just about THE MOST sensitive skin out there. If I walk down a perfume aisle, my skin will break out in a rash (and I’ll have an asthma attack). I can only use certain soaps and one wrong move in the shaving department would leave me with little cute patterns of razor burn all over my body.

Tack on the weight gain associated with PCOS and I had a rough time during my teenage years!

Fast-forward. I’m now 34 years old and happily married. I have a 2 year old beautiful son. I am completely content with my follicular status. The solution? The product that saved my self esteem?

Hate to burst your bubble, ladies, but for me.. it was just a matter of growing up and becoming comfortable with myself. No magical cream or little gadget that painlessly removed all of the hair forever.

Now.. that said, just because I’m comfortable with myself doesn’t mean I still don’t try every product and procedure under the sun. I’ve tried every chemical ever labeled for sensitive skin hair removal (translation: it removes the skin and leaves the hair) and have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on needles and lasers and weed-wackers, oh my!

So.. as the self-proclaimed expert on the subject.. do I still spend an hour a day in the shower? Heck no! I have a toddler.. I’m lucky if I snag 10 minutes to myself. I usually have the shower curtain thrown back about 7 minutes into it by a little red headed dude who hands me my glasses and says “mommy, all done”.

To be honest, I seem to have become a bit bi-polar when it comes to hair removal. It’s currently mid-winter and we’re broke. As a result, I haven’t shaved south of the equator for close to three months and I’m starting to resemble something off of the Discovery Channel. I really could care less, aside from the fact that my hair is so thick that it occasionally makes my skin hurt from rubbing against my pants. Also.. I don’t wear skirts.. that’s key.

Like I said though.. I tend to go through mood swings. When I’m not on shaving strike, I tend to go to extremes.

wax.jpg



I’ve become a huge fan of waxing. It feels strikingly like sticking your arm in a wood chipper, but the results are fantastic. It’s also great for releasing tension after a long week at work. I’m not sure what it says about your life when going in for a waxing session sounds relaxing. I’ll blog about that another time!

Now. Leg waxing isn’t a big deal. Ripping out hair in huge chunks is never pleasant, but after the first few strips, you start to lose consciousness and it doesn’t seem to hurt as badly. There are a few areas that really hurt. For me, it’s the front of my calves and the backs of my ankles and from the knee up.

Oh, I’m just kidding.. go try it, you’ll love it. No.. seriously. It’s horrible.. but I do have some advice. Don’t go cheap. DO NOT DO IT YOURSELF. I don’t care how simple and painless those TV infomercials make it look.. spring for a trip to the spa.. and not just a trip to the spa.. a trip to an EXPENSIVE spa. I’ve tried it both ways and the experience at a real spa can not compare to having a cheap wax job done by a hair dresser with a wax melter who knows how to use it. If you go cheap, prepare to wear long slacks for at least two weeks while your legs heal from all of the bruises and ingrown hairs that you’ll get... you’ll be able to put those shorts on just in time for your leg hair to start growing back! Think “She-she-poo-poo”...

Ok.. now, I think the reason why I downplay the amount of pain caused by a full leg wax is because I’ve also started getting bikini waxes. Not just regular bikini waxes, but Brazilian bikini waxes. Those Brazilians sure are wacky! I’m not sure of the history of it all or why those folks from south of the equator get the credit for the ultimate hair removal for “south of the border”.. but it’s like the Mount Everest of hair removal. It may kill you.. but it’s the best thing ever.

Once again.. if you’re going to attempt this.. remember my words about the expensive spa. No trying to do this at home kiddos. If you’re worried about the embarrassment factor.. well.. think of it like sky-diving.. once you take the plunge.. it’s all out there and you’re in a free fall and there is no going back.

The good news is that, once you’re off the IV fluids and morphine drip, you’ll feel like a million bucks. Even if you’re the only one who knows about it (aside from your new best friend at the spa), guaranteed you’ll feel like hot stuff..

- Jen (Two Moms and a Baby)

New Years updates...

Well.. while it may not seem like it, I HAVE been up to things other than updating the colors on my blog and playing Guitar Hero World Tour. I *HAVE* been a bit of a space cadet though.. so I haven't really been sharing many blog bonding moments with you all.

First of all.. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dan! We had a great time spending Christmas Eve and morning with you guys and hope we can do it again sometime. Maybe someday, we'll actually have a room for you and you won't have to camp out in the back yard!

Other stuff.. Benji has spent most of the holiday break from school either being sick with an ear infection (flared up on Christmas Day) or with a rogue virus or two. He also is on a sleep strike. I'm sure that it's because our daytime schedule is out of wack with him not having been to school for two weeks. I totally feel for his daycare providers next week.. he's going to be a bear! The good news is that his development seems to have made a huge jump.. maybe it was all the birthday cake!

He's saying all sorts of words now (like "stupid", "hola", "ru" (Ruth), "Mommy" (instead of just MaMa), "I eat it", "no nemo", "nemo no", "no nemo no", "nemo no nemo" (catching a trend?) and lots of "ohhh noooooo's".. very dramatic.

I'm doing well.. no major complaints. I've decided to go back to work full time. It is a tough pill to swallow, but given the economy and the fact that things were already really tight.. well.. I want to keep ahead of the gang. This coming Monday will be my first time back in about six months.. I should be one cranky mom on Sunday.. watch out!

The other mom is doing well.. she's tired. Two weeks of vacation will do that to you.

Oh well.. I had planned on sharing a few pics from my fancy dancy new camera, but I didn't bring the cable and my card reader can't handle the high capacity card.. doh.. so I'll have to do that later. I also have more things to finish with the blog layout (there's a surprise).. given that my home computers are crap, i may pull an all nighter with some system install and norton disks.. fun fun fun! That's how I roll...

Ok... flowers are out of here.. but...

I have to save this horrible decision for future laughs... here is a screen shot of my pretty flowers...

What's wrong with me?

It's 7:30am. I've already showered, gotten dressed, gotten ben's lunch together for school... and I'm watching the news ON TV. I typically "watch" my news online because I'm NEVER up early enough to sit on the couch and turn the TV on unless it's to put Thomas the Tank Engine on to keep Ben's head from popping off while i'm getting ready in the morning.

The typical morning routine involves me snoozing my alarm long enough for Ben to wake up.. then the struggle to either take a shower while Ben is still playing in his crib or throwing him in his pack n play in front of the TV while I shower and dress. At some point he starts screaming because I'm not paying close enough attention to him. I then release him from "jail" and he trucks around with every intent of either getting into the kitty litter, splashing in the cat's water or the toilet water, yelling at me "nah!" when I'm in the kitchen where he can't see me while I'm throwing random items into his bag hoping that he'll eat some of it that day at school.

He's still snoozing right now.. the cat is sitting in the window watching the cars go by. I'm uploading photos from our evening of finger-painting last night. I've had a granola bar with some peanut butter on it and almost tried a fruit strip of ben's until I saw that it had 8 carbs and was the size of a stick of gum. Not cool for a diabetic.. i'd rather save those 8 carbs for some ice cream later..

I feel good this morning.. I hope work doesn't bust my mood.

Salsa, Margueritas and Mariachi, oh MY!

Last night we went out with a friend and her twins to "Mariachi Night" at our local family-run Mexican restaurant.. we had a blast. The kids all loved the band.. especially Maddie, who clapped and asked for more music after each song. Benjamin refused to eat his dinner, but was ok with snagging Riley's avacado slice and some of his leftover cheese quesadilla. Luckily Riley was more interested in eating tortilla chips and eventually putting the basket on his head. Maddie was the little princess.. daintily dipping her tortilla chips into the salsa.. that kid can certainly pack away the salsa.. and I don't think she got a drop on her. Riley managed to pour a half of a bowl of salsa on his lap, but that was relatively well timed as I was just walking by him to go "borrow" a diaper from the twin's supply because Benjamin figured that it was an appropriate time to fill his pants.

In the end.. I think we all managed to eat our dinner (except for Ben) and as the clock struck 6:45pm.. it was enjoyable to watch all three kids lose their minds at the same time. Actually.. the gradual decline of Maddie and Riley was only really visable to their mom.. they hadn't started screaming or throwing things... unlike our little redheaded ball of fury. Seconds after the twins left (with mom, of course).. Ben and I headed out to the parking lot to offer some relief to the other patrons. Shiela stuck around to wait for our payment to go through and we headed home.

It was a great evening. It's so nice being out with someone with kids that are the same age as Ben.. especially when going to a restaurant that was filled with other kids that are all just like Ben. It seemed that everyone got a chance to pick up a toy that was chucked from another family's child across the aisle and smile politely while handing it back just to have their own child chuck something toward another family. Some may call it chaos.. we call it a relaxing Mariachi night!

Hi Friends of Snickollet !!!

I just have to say "hi"!

The blogging queen, Snickollet, mentioned us on her blog about 2 hours ago and since that time I've had 84 views of my blog.. compared with the "average" of ahem... six.

Welcome.. make yourself at home. Read all about my crazy life.. leave a comment or two.. watch out for the delivery pictures of my son.. they are rated PG-13 for adult content.

Can I change the rules?

So it's my blog, right? I should be able to change the rules as I please, right?

One of my taboo subjects is my work. I'm not dumb.. I don't even mention what I do on my blog let alone where I work, what my opinions are of my job and/or workplace and/or colleagues. Even if I'm having issues.. that is off limits. Can I bitch about my wife's job then? It's a conundrum. Logically I know that the rule applies to both of our jobs. It's just common sense. But WOW how I'd like to let off some steam at the moment.

Ok.. in other news.. I'm back from the grand ol' state of Kentucky. Had lots of fun, saw lots of livestock and even got stuck behind a pickup with a few goats in the back. Ben and I did great traveling together and I didn't lose it and start twitching in the corner once during the whole trip. I'm very proud of myself. I'll blog about the trip separately because I've got a ton of pics that I want to share.

More importantly (at the moment) is that Ramiele got voted off of American Idol last night. It had to happen.. it was sort of like ripping off a band-aid.. just do it quick and move on.

Speaking of ripping things off.. I had my legs waxed last week and already have plans with a girl I work with to go back to the spa in a month or so for another round... how's that for chick-bonding time outside of work.. "let's go get hair ripped out of our bodies together while listening to enya and trying not to have an asthma attack because of their beautiful incense. It's also impossible to go through any waxing experience without discussing the movie 40-year-old Virgin.. I haven't seen the movie, but I think I'll have to before I go again so I can at least laugh with them genuinely. Usually it's when we talk about guys coming in to get waxed because their wives are making them.. that's always a hoot of a discussion.

Ok.. as an aside.. ending a week by having hair ripped out of your body is a wonderful release for letting the stresses of the week (i.e. work) out of your system. You walk out feeling a little violated, but mostly free and energized (that would be the adrenaline).

Job Offer...

Ok.. who is willing to take cash to go through my older blogs and fix the flickr links back to the correct photos? It's driving me crazy but I'd rather write new entries than go back and fix the old ones...

My list of moments.....

I've been kicking around this idea for a while. I use my blog space as sort of a journal. It's mainly a space to share news and pictures of our family with distant family and friends. It's become an outlet for me where I can express my feelings about daily life.. at least some aspects of it. Some areas that are taboo from my blog are: talking about work, talking about anything negative that's family related, talking about some of my health issues.. that kinda thing. But when it comes to poopy diapers and updates on american idol... this is your place!

I've added another blog to my arsenal. It's as simple as they come. The only point is for me to have a place where I can leave one-liner notes of events/moments that happen each day that trigger the thought "god.. i don't want to forget this". I'm curious to see if #1.. i'll keep it up.. and #2.. just what types of moments will make the list..

There is a link to the site on the sidebar and it can also be found HERE.